Your Time with Kim 10/21/10 With Music

" Hanging."

" Let me."

" Hello -- them."

" Isn't fun."

" An attack them. Did you see you know I was lesbian -- totally feel some people just should never be allowed to."

" If children are welcome to -- time with -- she's your girlfriend and easier to Yunel."

" So I'd been on the sugar free diet it's been really crazy I mean you know how much sugar is and everything it's actually amazing. How they it's not corn syrup. Into everything there is to put an -- you know it's like. They just I would around the grocery strike think and can we speak this -- here. Like a game like where's Waldo almost. Worse and it's just everywhere it's been amazing but. My try to cut my my sugar consumption down about twenty grams of sugar a day which is really really difficult try to cut up fruit and fruit juice and I'm just for now you know until. I guess my system kind of gets used to it because we can -- like these are right this pains and like just wasn't that great and the doctor says -- you should try cutting out all the sugar released most of you can't survive. Without some sugar in your diet so the average Americana I think it is they consume about 280 grams of sugar a day. But I was on a healthier diet I -- and still around eighty or ninety grams of sugar and now I'm down to -- twenty Graham. Sugar diet but I gotta tell you it is wave batter and I've been feeling it I've been feeling the results already in -- stand. Maybe ten to fifteen days of doing it itself. I now when I try to eat sugar it's actually two suite from and I can only have a bite I can't eat too much that's really really healthy I think everybody should try it. Coming up our -- you know he sent -- Holmes love in my life he's going to be talking about sugar free diving stick around it's your time with him Iverson. Give or call 8889 called him."

" And it's going over eight days nine pounds did you sixteen pounds for your suits got huge shopping crazy and Obama laden he. Got back."

" really important."

" Yeah."

" I know. Tensions are too."

" Soon."

" And solid and an excellent news."

" All right welcome back to the show I've got it gonna Holmes -- to quit date -- second kitchen and bar all right sir -- guiding laid on me OK so here's some things. If as you know. Pick any product off the shelf and you're gonna find corn -- pretty much or sugar okay of some time yeah. There're couple things that you can remember like pretty much any bottled salad dressing -- sugar. Aren't they sugar free ones we'll have absorb at all or aspartame which can actually if you're on a sugar free diet. And you're drinking like die so does my name the names of the companies but died so. What can happen is your body will start to create or create this odd craving. And it'll be harder for you -- not satisfy yourself with something that's natural. And so you'll want that sugar and you'll Yi so you'll eat sweeter things because you're eating fake sugar right into it sort of desensitized as your palate and it also it does weird things yours just right so. From a sugar free perspective. If you stick with the whole foods whole grains -- so fruits vegetables. You're gonna still get that sweeping so if if you think what I wanna splurge wherever there's great apples like honey crisp apples that with some cheese that together. Out of this world and it'll satisfy that -- okay because that's going to be the hardest thing to do the other the other sugar free thing. If you're looking at things like palm sugar yeah and I got -- nectar. You know there's all this debate about the got an -- versus corn stripped out there. But things like palm sugar they're natural sugars okay and so if you're trying to get on to that sugar free. Diet situation. You need to avoid anything that comes in a bottle anything comes in a cellophane package pretty much. For a across the board right eating fruits vegetables. You know hard cheeses things like that we'll help you stave off any cravings because -- sugar levels will really cause you raid it right really really badly. So I always tell people you can make your own salad dressings very simple some really nice vinegar but you wanna get really good vinegar if you get. Likable stemming vinegar. Loads of sugar and loans feeling like a wine vinegar and you wanna check did -- you don't need a lot of this stuff into going to be a little bit more expensive but the cheaper -- to have a lot of sugar in them. And also have residual sugar. They want to avoid those things as best as you can."

" So I just started sugar free dining about two weeks ago -- and I've limited myself to twenty grams of sugar day which is really really like really -- Not even a tablespoon sugar -- yeah it's super. And I'll tell you I went to the grocery store this weekend and it was a nightmare exactly everything I look stack from bread chips even a whole -- stuff. Yeah sugar corn Serb Army was high for to -- courts -- in everything -- in everything and I finally did find sugar free things. But you know it's like the only whole grain crackers fidelity crackers and thirties or crackers and cheese you know right the only crackers like to find where though lost a crackers that didn't have sugar."

" Well they also have a brown rice crackers and you know my girlfriend Kenny sugar so I've. Played all round with a lot of those things but. There's a lot of there there's also some stuff called deal with snacking down get -- which court you know satisfies me those cravings but you'll notice. That when used take that your out of your diet to your metabolism will kick in."

" Yeah even more right field and also like -- let me just tell you when I went through every single loaf of bread on the shelf only one didn't have any sugar right. One I'm thinking -- valuable sonic vinegar has sugar and salad dressings Hampshire every crackers or pretzels everything plus does I mean there's like. Right tons of stuff with sugar and I couldn't even think there's nothing to eat but then finally figured out what I could eat and now."

" Feel better about it -- put him all the things to first of all for flavoring but also it's it's say you know acts as a preservative as well. Yeah I mean you know sugar and beef jerky for example which is that almost kind of preserving something right so if you. Take any of those you know you you sort of shop on the edge of the store instead of the center of the store you'll find you know fish meat poultry yeah. In the whole grains would you buy bowl called range you don't buy things that are sort of pre done right because they've got to put sugar in things in there to make it taste good end. To keep them you know sitting on the shelf for --"

" Yeah I mean it was crazy I mean the only the only -- like he would be like just like hall Oates right you know it's like and I can't really buy a box of cereal because it all has sugar right. So I mean it was its its then it's been difficult but the first week I crave sugar. And then I stopped craving sugar run together and I don't drink any of that diet sodas you know right in other technically sugar free -- you know they still have still have. Writings that -- make you wanna eat sugar right. So it's -- it's it's been a lot better and the doctors the reason why -- garnish your free -- because I watched a lecture from that a physician yeah and he proved in a lecture. That sugar. Two human bodies is like rat poison drafts."

" Yeah I mean there's research out there I'm -- I'm from a ship's protective I don't get in the -- much I mean I've seen a lot of that restart I do. But you know I'm not endear you thing but I can just tell you that. From my experience working with people that that are on candy -- diets yeah and those kinds of things. There are very simple things that you can do to still satisfy those cravings but once you've been -- for a couple weeks. And once you kind of know where to shop right what to buy and how to put things together."

" Well and to me -- now is a -- it's not apart my every day that I can -- is how was."

" We will also be right when he did thirty years ago and I think it'd."

" It was a trade the resident but I got a -- tonight but that's because."

" You've gone particularly might say -- a treat I can have a once in awhile I do I don't donate part of my every day diet right units like take every day I don't have to agree lately and -- A huge oh absolutely yeah the -- right even homes set to -- date of second kitchen and bar. Go to the website congress often dot com -- thank you thank you love you love to side."

" You're listening to radios most provocative entertaining unique and interesting show. This is your time with -- Iverson."

" Ruler of the hair she's still not just can only mean. She lived that down. And it sounds -- don't rule out. We have got to --"

" I. Okay."

" Okay. You."

" All right everybody you're on notice if you're in a relationship that you don't think you wanna be and you have to break up now. You cannot wait. Because if you wait any longer you have to wait until late February early march. Because we're entering that stretch of time where you are not allowed to break up your partner. You're not allowed to break up your partner. A month before a major holiday and we are getting in that time where there is pretty much a holiday every single month and their holiday every month right I mean. You know Halloween is okay you can break up around Halloween and it -- wanna break out you gotta put it. This way I mean Halloween is the best time to do it right for Halloween because if your guide and you can go out look at all the girls dressed the way there would be dressed on Halloween. You could greatly look at your -- you -- dress not Wayne go get yourself a new man. -- doing before Halloween is great but if you wait till after Halloween. This is what's going to happen. Plans are made for Thanksgiving dinner. -- and he was going to the other person's. Right I mean. Flights have to be bot or trips have to be arranged. Plans are made people are talking unity you call your family and we asked. And bringing -- with me this Thanksgiving. We've been together now for a year to. Little does she know -- planning on breaking up winner not gone so you have to do it. Right before Halloween or now I mean you can't wait you get into November and what Thanksgiving this year is like the 25 or something. You know -- the ruling as it has to be and you can't break up with somebody a month before a major holiday because plants have to be made things are talked about a month before. So she's thirty telling everybody he's out -- telling everybody that there joining you for Thanksgiving are inviting you for Thanksgiving due that's somebody. He's honest and have to call everybody back home and say okay well. We broke up. I got it. And of course right after Thanksgiving is -- Kristen has that's the worst like you definitely can't break up with somebody in the month of December. That is not allowed Yahoo! QB Scrooge. Any get -- a giving a present a dozen or Obama it's now and then there's new -- You can't break up with somebody right before they're about ready to get their New Year's kiss are you kidding. And right after that is Valentine's Day no you would be a real loser. Breakup with somebody before Valentine's. Does that nobody -- So listen if you're gonna break up with somebody you have to do it now I mean it right now conflict column not. Now the time. You think I'm kidding but this is really a bad timing here we are getting into that stretch in fact there are men out there who avoid getting into a relationship during this time of year because. They don't wanna have to deal with buying again at or being locked it and for Thanksgiving Christmas new years and then Valentine's stake is stuck. If you get involved right now you are stuck in March that in if you're in a relationship right now you're stuck Intel marched. I never heard these these are rules there are break up rules everybody and you've got to break up now after thinking of doing and I think you need this advice. People have been asking me this question when tiebreak happy and I just don't think it's working out but is it. Horrible to do it around the holidays I kinda think it has. I was broken up with plaster on Christmas Eve. That's that it was devastating honestly and it did ruin my Christmas. Because I spent my Christmas rather than being happy with my family I spent in bed crying. And being upset and -- and like re winding the relationship in my mind with Abercrombie as to why it ended in what happened and I mean it was just really. Sure and maybe you're not responsible for how the other person feels if you choose to break up with them but gimme a break you expect him not to be upset. They're going to be a sad it is your responsibility at that point. Because you know that who wouldn't be upset if they're just getting dumped. You know this going and you can't say oh well it's not my responsibility if they think that it ruined their Christmas and they're all upset over. You know going to be -- sat. That's just the way it works unless. Dropped cheating somebody else and then in that case they probably don't care that an -- case they're gonna go and -- on somebody else's bed to get over it. Medicare. But if you know that there they're invested that there wanting to be in this relationship Yoon now as a person. That they are going to be devastated by the break up so don't be a jerk and do it around holidays. And there are other break April's. You have to be location location where you're gonna break up with a person is key. So some people say oh you should break up in -- neutral location and you know I just incredible don't ever do that that in a couple of out that's the worst thing you can DO. Well another person won't go crazy we let you should allow them to have their emotions. A person should be allowed to be devastated and to cry and comfort. They shouldn't have to be. You know in arrest not being dumped in and sobbing and strangers are watching and trying to break down that's a horrible thing to do a -- and he been in a relationship with them. Don't go to a park in don't go to restaurant don't go to that neutral location -- people tell you to go to Iraq. The best place to break up with them. At their kitchen table. Than I have to sit there everyday and it doesn't matter. Yeah well what does it doesn't matter they'll get over it that's a kitchen table that's where you eat you enjoy it it's. The air space if you're the one breaking up with and you have to break up with him at their kitchen table. Because it's in their place. Where they -- in their comfort zone where they are free to cry. Air -- Q out the air free keep their dignity. And it's and romantic location but that's not like sitting on the couch and their like holding your hands and touching your lake in the news today. We're done. You know I think it's in tape we kind of sitting across from each -- took a little bit more formal it's not quite a desk where -- being called in and fired. And and but that is the best location to be doing the dumping and -- you gotta do it kind of earlier in the day you can't do it at night -- it dumps. -- night anyway. You don't wanna add extra to the crazy in -- night nighttime that's when everybody. -- just in general. Is a little crazier you know that they're tired they're drawn -- on the missed it happens you can't break somebody at night to break up kind of like. Early afternoon that way they could still call their friends and make plans to go out that night with their friends to become present. He now. They're Rolston is everybody's I'm telling you if you're gonna break up. You bettered it this week editor at their kitchen table. -- did you break up during the holidays. I mean I don't think and if I wanted a break up with some they wouldn't wait till after Valentine's. I mean then you're wasting time you're a person that's why you gotta do it now Oklahoma. An if you think you -- break up but it's close to Christmas so what I'm sorry everybody spent time in a relationship didn't really wanna be and you're gonna have to -- I don't think you should be allowed to break up during the holidays what do you guys think my number is 8889225554."

" Four million. Yeah. William -- Okay. -- Suing me. I'm okay."

" Okay."

" Yeah okay. -- Then. You. It's."

" The -- you've been broken up. Right direct your boyfriend broke up with -- around Christmas."

" And yeah there -- privacy and -- here. To add. He had to stop me right after that publicly that there. -- block might not her lap that aren't I see it as part yeah very -- it beat Hillary is like cloudy it's the megabits right but you got me."

" See that's why you can't wait you can't. Yeah you got to -- before Halloween Korea to wait till Valentine's after Valentine's."

" Oh yeah I would totally if you are able clarity getting an ActiveX and they get eight. Credit that he couldn't stay nice and new years -- wicket every ninety days later he didn't break probably not -- me."

" Internet CNN news or use if it's done right after Christmas so that's why he should have stuck it out until after Valentine's Day. -- And then and then syndicate is isn't working out because I when he should've at least taking you for a nice Valentine's. And treated -- and made you feel like a special woman even if he doesn't wanna be with you you're still special. -- to Asia treaty outweigh and then set okay this isn't really working out forming."

" Yeah and that you're doing at all a holiday -- well there are way to go either Italy for the bank after about ten people that way you don't want that harsh break up."

" Yeah. Exactly exactly yeah. I get out of it for acting. Get perspective he did it after Christmas you felt used like I did it right before Christmas and it ruined my Christmas I mean it's just not good timing -- to be doing it thanks Caitlin. So Daniel you disagree you think holidays are just fine for breaking up."

" Yeah I mean I don't think -- that you're really matters what they break I mean. I don't even know if you remember -- calling in about a year ago -- told you about you locking in on three layer with my best friends and my girlfriend."

" Hiring -- and yeah. And that the -- happening prior around the time my birthday and right after the fact."

" Okay alright alright our right and I'll concede on this one if there's something like that like you just caught him cheating on you they deserve to be dumped it doesn't matter what time of the year. But it's just not working out because she supports like a pig when she laughs and in our -- she is just did not making you laugh anymore -- something I mean that's. That's something that yeah I think you can wait you could be in a relationship for a little while and in deal with that you know but. Yeah if it's something where they've done something completely egregious to you than absolutely during the holidays you should be able to break up -- what's going on."

" I don't know what you're saying now -- said the break out at. They're kitchen table. And what -- you're with somebody that you as a healing your out everything here at. He didn't have a cable or have a bit. Become great applicants -- its head."

" Loving you still bring back your kitchen table I mean that that makes sense because he'd still have to pack his bags and leave right you're asking him to me about. So and that -- you would still break up at that kitchen table the thing about the kitchen table is that kitchens are always warm and comforting. And they're familiar and you can't break up with somebody in a location that is unfamiliar and stranger have to do it familiar location where they feel safe. And they feel comfortable and that's why -- kitchen table. Is the place to -- Yeah that's still we're gonna feel comfortable that's where you gotta do the break and that."

" Opponents you can -- happy again on the average and it and the formulas that it's as."

" I'm my gosh are you gonna like this guy out. Well like I wanna keep him out but added that wanna be comfortable -- my kids and then it's on -- book so I'm featured excited out right."

" You gotta first what you gotta do it now you can't wait to the holidays you -- secondly you gotta do it -- your kitchen table and third make sure that the kids aren't around. And then -- come you know a week or two to get out."

" Yeah we can it get it cannot get out of and mustard on them."

" Well maybe a month if you wanna be really generous I mean give them a couple of weeks to find a place and you don't need to be your karma is a -- Maria it will come back and get you say you don't wanna be. You don't wanna be callous about it."

" I just I'm now at the architect says they and I know you're right. A full that the --"

" All right Maria good luck thank. So once again everybody you are on notice if you're thinking of breaking up with your partner you've got to do it now before Halloween evacuate any longer you gotta wait till after Valentine's Day. "

" Keep its. He'd done a close. Well it's okay. Saying only. Just keep its. Round the -- in the past. Few. We. It's. Thank you -- you."

" do not tell me."

" Yeah. Your boot from perfect your hair is an accident probably do I -- what you know. Let me show you the strengthens couldn't."

" Welcome to you -- time with Kim Iverson he's your girlfriend. It's easier -- you know."

" I think we've all been to a restaurant or to a friend's house and we've tastes are really great wine. And we forget what wine it was later are we can't seem to find that bottle I can't count how many times that's happened to me. Go to restaurant order a nice bottle wine. So great and I wanna go to the -- you know today it's a wild liquor store something a bite out bottle I just can't find it I can't remember it. Well if you went to millions of users with an iPhone now what you can do is you can download this news.com. IPhone app. They're selling it I think for about five bucks that's unfortunately not -- free app sounds like free apps and yet to pay for one maybe I'll buy this one now because what you can do is you can take a picture of the wind label. In his news.com people actually. Matching it. To their database of millions of -- if -- even earn their millions and there's yet. They can match -- and they're not actually tell you where you combine that wine at -- local liquor liquor stores. And they'll even compare prices. The show you which restaurants survey of -- wanna get that line again. You can add it to like your little wine list you can -- your own database of -- that you really enjoy I that is the coolest app because there's so many -- lines. Hard to keep them straight hard to find the bottles. -- dot com that's -- to get our -- actually -- get -- iTunes or you know however you do on your iPhone got to go through the app store but I just thought I'd share and a little tidbit with you. Coming up next can your man passed the ninety day test. Find out if he's worth sticking with for maybe six months dirty air that's nexus of your time with him Iverson. Give or call 8889 called --"

" Pushing writing some houses -- bony arms coordinates some tequila I think I'm -- need -- back and."

" Middle man who was -- yeah yeah. -- the mormons. I don't know -- man. Silent out of Samsung UN and then yeah. It's."

" Okay."

" And it's. And who can pay -- In turn moved."

" Won't Emmanuel. --"

" Does your man passed the ninety day test here to tell us what that testing is. Is doctor Noel Nelson she's a psychologist relationship expert also the author of your man is wonderful doctor Noel welcome -- Well thank you get right to be here all right tell us about this ninety day test -- Tearrius."

" Well simply put we think I think the that the ninety day wonder and other -- Pretty much anybody can seem absolutely marvelous for -- today yeah. Which is sort of magical three months marker. And during that time often you wolf thank you have met a guy by the gal just felt perfectly good for you with utterly ridiculous right. And what happened though is almost literally the 91 day. It'd be -- continue to be wonderful or are. All of a sudden things changed and you haven't done anything strange there hasn't been a weird occurrence between himself -- no argument no nothing and all the other like. This distance. And that's because whoever he really did is starting to reveal himself. -- it he could play in your in your day whenever that happens that the for ninety days but then his -- gonna start to appear."

" Right. People get a little lazy after ninety days right."

" And it's interesting it's like we we let our guard down and we don't do it I mean this is like a bad thing it's just what it. But the problem is is that women we can't get hooked in those first three months. And we think that it's gonna be like that. -- And I don't get so many current candidates literally ninety -- strangest phenomenon."

" So what would you say is the task then is it that we have to just stick through to ninety days and -- after what they're like."

" Or well I think it's a combination a couple of things one is be yourself. In other -- unfortunately we tend to play again during those those first month of kind of try to prep for ourselves into whatever shape the guy like because he's been so wonderful yeah and on the contrary you wanna right from the -- he'll be yourself. I don't mean where you're ready at twenty you know. Where Brian and I bet but -- do it if you don't like like golf but he just have to get out there aren't like golf every Saturday thank you very sweetly gently that. Don't late like off I'm gonna go visit with someone else. Don't don't because of what we do is. We need him to the fantasy that the ninety day wonder part I -- expectation that every single one. And then when he becomes more of who he hit. For cricket they're going well all ladies have been more like well."

" I I will say that in it now and hit thirty and I I've kind of learned this lesson and I'm very much myself from the very beginning. Which I think is really a lot of guys think is kind of intense well you know what happy -- articles just like parading around in high heels and whiskers something for a while it's in -- I dressed -- not talking that I didn't. Personality -- And definitely myself from the get go and I think it's saved me a lot of time."

" If they do lot of time and him a lot of grief yeah quite frankly because what happens is that we get -- and it's not like after the 98 to get them -- What will happen at all but you'll end up with a guy at least for awhile but -- forget exactly yeah because you keep trying to recapture that ninety day yeah you know. C'mon I they beside. It by the way or shorter skirt made -- leaders are more maybe if I whenever and we tried it it you know keep reshaping ourselves and in the end. It's not gonna work well it's just not gonna work out."

" A Casey say from the very beginning you really do need to just be yourself do you think you like and in I don't put on the facade for the person what are some other things we can do to kind of make sure that -- there with somebody who should last or you know bail."

" I think you need to be clear about your own agenda. In other words you know going into any dating situation relationships situation beginning it clearly -- are you looking just have fun. Wonderful. Are you looking for a partner to settle down with wonderful. It doesn't matter what you're looking for -- clearly yourself because you're literally. Have an energy about you but -- difference if you just that I have a good time our -- they're thinking more long term and I picked up on it and they pick up on it. So you know unfortunate what we tend to do you often is that we go into it thinking well I can't be fine and then I'll let things get seriously Iran. Right and certainly you don't wanna lay on it you know -- I wanna get Mary rest of the week but there's the general attitude of the things you talk about. -- to -- together the kind of thing to do together we keep different when you're looking for a long term partner as opposed to what you're looking to -- that the -- yeah. So it's not cheating yourself you know. Is it. It's important to you to know what is morals are what his values are and eating cat about it or go to you know lectures -- museum to web. Places where it's natural to those that to Obama. Right where it is what you want if you know what I'm gonna kick back now I just went ahead of the tax."

" I that Bryant's. I'm gonna debate whenever he."

" That's really dead I think that's excellent advice I think many of us need to sit down and actually assess what it is we're looking for in a relationship you know and are you really are you not ready to settle down you're looking just for short term you know this is -- any person primary sort of saying. You know but then there are some of us to you know like myself I think I fall into the category have. I would like to find. I would like to do -- be with somebody and have it be a fun free relationship but I am looking for a long term partner but I'm not looking to get married tomorrow or any time since."

" Well I think you -- take your time which by the way time is a wonderful wonderful thing here what you wanna do is going three months. -- in other -- the first ninety days will reveal nothing except how wonderful he can be and you could be but the next. The next three months are gonna start to reveal who he really is. And you are going to reveal more what you really are so it can still enjoy its company after six and you can sort of take a deep breath and going to the next three months section. Because after about a year. Year and a quarter. You'll know pretty much everything you need to know if you've done more than just that -- You know that you're looking to settle down but not tomorrow. It would be a common -- that you would make sure that you know in -- amongst having the fun stuff not the guidance some conversations where you started to probe a little bit."

" All right well. I think a lot of -- relationships in the near two or three years and we're thinking okay well maybe not ready to get settled. -- with this person and maybe you didn't stop to think on my gosh no do you have the morals I want for my kids do you even want kids he's --"

" Exactly or are you the kind of person that I want to note that next you'll -- stay right. Yeah you know I mean you gotta think kind of differently. Though knowing what's your agenda is and and being clear about it and going about. You know but a kind of a different way but doesn't that really helped."

" Excellent advice excellent advice doctor Noel Nelson she's the author of you are Manning is wonderful he could go to the website. Your man is wonderful dot com."

" Have something on your mind. You're off your chest email -- had your time with Jim dot com shorts with Kim."

" The world this morning. -- And what was the metaphysical way and the man and Flanagan an advanced home whom would you. As the bad guy. And woods news. -- Cause the -- you have guys had was you."

" They."

" This morning."

" It's. -- day and -- that just -- it well that's."

" I'm gonna do we're gonna move forward to do."

" We've got to get. Thank -- yeah yeah. Okay."

" After her divorce would you go to court to get custody for your dog. There's a lot couples these days it actually going to court over their animals it's not just kids you know people are choosing not to have children. They've been married for awhile they decide to get a dog together and then after the divorce they say -- who gets the -- on -- able equally loved. Their pet. And didn't they wanna spend time with a -- no one wants to just walk away so couples are actually going to court. To try to get some sort custody arrangements. For their dogs in fact a couple in Maryland and while going through divorce wound up in court. In the custody battle over their little Beagle is just so cute and it this was. That the first of its kind in in the state actually the judge decided to split custody of the dog. Like a child killed. Except instead of being like a -- you get the dog one week and she gets in another. They actually did okay for the first six months of the year you get the dot and then for the second six months a year you get the -- the dog goes to one house for six months. And in another house for six -- that's humane. Yeah I don't know of dogs can just that easily and they don't understand what's going on yeah I like child you can explain to the kids mommy and daddy you're getting divorced and and you wanna spend time with both the bass organ day you know you're gonna see is both all the time that you can't rationalize with the doc app and sit there and say to -- all right reassess. -- to spend the first six months with Maine. And then you're going to be shipped off to her for six months. That's that's a big problem you know what to do with the pats -- troubles owner on it in now. Yeah I you know I have a few friends I just recently gone through divorces and they had animals and it was a pretty rough. Departure. For them as far as you know who would get which pet and that spreading you out a dog and two cats. And he's the with the -- she got the dog. Yeah so. And really you know I don't know how they decided I think it was because one -- Katz was really fond of him. The other cat was fond of the cat like -- two cats were friends and once again -- Yeah and then one -- loved him more than her and so the caps ended up going with with him and then she got to keep the dog but he still sees the -- Mikey still hasn't arrangement where he can. Visit the dock or maybe it's whatever she goes on vacation he gets the dog there's some sort of like arrangement in their divorce where he gets that are sometimes I'll. I mean I love my cat I gotta say you know luckily for me I mean she's minds there's no man in my life I didn't have a man like when I got when I got talent she is mine. But if I already have. Gotten her. You know with -- married and then adopted her. Gosh if we got divorced I mean. Woody did I wouldn't let him have my cat but what if you wanted to -- right I don't know I. It be really tough by the and a lot act cat. And people do they love their pets a lot my aunt and uncle for the longest time they wouldn't have kids and they spent the first twenty years of their marriage without children because. Day down. They love their pets and I just felt like bulldogs are kids in a fairy children. Gas contract and they really love their animals that much and it's not just -- this is just a pet you can replace this pat there was no replacing these pets for them. And you know I mean people wanna HE I guess the the good news. I guess is that pets don't outlive you you know your children do. So you're not gonna be seeing your ex. For a long time necessarily mean -- ten more years fifteen more years maybe a long time is tight -- at. Transferring a dog back and forth between -- I don't know if you had a dog would you do you think you would fight for custody of the dock."

" And I would take it to color I would hope that. No I would hope that whoever at a better arrangement for the dog would be the one who -- I mean I had an apartment where dogs aren't allowed and maybe he can have it but it would be hard to just reminds me think back before people like to start going to court -- I think what couples would do is they would stand on each side of Iran and then have a treat each and I take."

" Coming tiny hot spot every year. This -- way. Like whichever way the dog black out idea that's just -- who every comes to that it needs to keep the and it always somebody just need to treat them I think in the dogs can sniff this out right so they're like hiding beef jerky at the study. They Kennedy -- not and Hillary here over here."

" I'll open up the phone lines -- ago. To court or have you. 888925554."

" When I. So. My daddy. There's. It is. And this news. -- Now. News now. And -- it's saying it from. Now you're seeing here. And does yeah. It's. Need. Naming. You know -- my. See it's so. Yeah I."

" What is it. -- And this."

" Okay."

" Name makes -- soon. -- It's. --"

" Change your mom."

" I mean. And I get."

" In Maryland the judge recently gave custody split custody to a couple. He went to court. Over a dog. Curious if you would share custody of your pet I Sally welcome -- the show."

" I -- get married and I came into the relationship with the dog. And I think and -- need to edit the beginning. My husband allowed my god cannot be better with and and I think I got might even pick my husband over you play. Which despite I'm glad they're like it's a wonderful relationship that they -- my hat and it got the table that he would like skill like sign adoption papers for the big -- both -- it. And you know you don't -- ever think that anything would happen to the marriage that I won't do it in the event that something like you're on -- god is my."

" Wow there's actually want to sign adoption papers to protect himself in case you guys worked. Divorce."

" Yet I mean it ain't got you know I know he's not coming -- something's gonna go around one of us are right he really does one break. He loved that."

" Daughtry just like to make sure he's protected just in case."

" All also and I not letting it did that picture protected but. Oh my god status so funny to you today that we're even go to sign adoption papers for a dog."

" I -- yet -- back feel like I'm kind of called red dog and you can go back there like it pedigree is. Polarity indicate great and it's a rights given connected to that image you register the dog yeah I rented it registry and I think he can cut both -- you until."

" you better watch out how he's gonna secretly go get that dot microchip and get his now all right I -- asked. And it sneaky like yeah yeah yeah ever in doubt you would never now right selling bank yet so Lisa you share custody and you're not. Yet they do with your -- how did you guys arrange that."

" Well. We got to -- to. I -- Four years ago and we separated back in May and I actually offered custody to share custody only -- five minutes away from each other so it kind of makes cities."

" There that's how do you guys split custody."

" Well at first we try to admitted. Daily diet she can but the dot -- have. Anxiety issues song I would bring her over during the day and -- in my own home at night yeah and and we worked out that. I have her. C Wednesday to Sunday and then she goes -- some funny when."

" the dogs seem happy well adjusted."

" Its cake and sometimes it's now what act over and I would say it's -- good for five months. I'm used to really adjust to it."

" And to realize this has to homes."

" Yup but she -- says he he he's excite them like aren't let's go and he knows exactly where should go and that's --"

" Arizona it works out so good those are at least that they think yeah they can. So funny that people would get a divorce or right they would actually get custody of their kids Stevie hi. Welcome to the show so you guys have an arrangement."

" Yes every time -- get any pet that sure we're like Specter who is better eating it. And that's Britney gets it from ever happened."

" So you'd do you have this like in writing."

" Now but it's a mutual agreement likely of one cat that likes him more than it fat cat food cat aren't far and I get them. There's no way I see this snake and he gets that."

" Okay I think it's in writing. Just in case it is not -- it's Allen born to be take to court years you're out -- that's net split custody about snake. That's pretty. Telecast. I guess that works two -- your data support thanks for joining me."

" Yeah talk is get it."

" And it's going to have her eight day and -- don't count did you. Sixteen pounds for your -- I finished shopping crazy. Obama along."

" Welcome to you what time with Kim Anderson she's your girlfriend and -- you know."

" Thanks for -- showed and I guess what it's Thursday which means you can call me. My numbers -- 92555. Port and you can ask me anything. Turns not. My producers here I always let them kick it off by asking me question did you guys come up with something to ask. Yes at first I I I wonder and I don't know if this is a blanket statement for women but. Are you looking for. I guess your dad in traits of your dad in him like in any person you meet yeah. Probably I'm not looking for them but I found that recently the -- that I dated have been very similar to my -- and a lot of ways interestingly. I think I'm subconsciously attracted to left handed man. -- the covenant upper left hand it in that where might out left handed Hulk really tall. Dark haired. Kinda you know I think that yeah I think also I have a tendency to like and introvert. To like to party. My -- that -- introverted to act he's really introverted and you wouldn't guessing he's a party here but he actually loves to go on be around people is incredibly social but he's actually. You know he's he's enter. And me kicking -- the -- On the so yeah I think so I think I -- somebody's stable and good with money and you know. Yeah it is."

" That it now I have one for him great I actually have an advice question okay that -- something going on one of my friends that I. I was pretty good friends it's a man and you know. We were friends about it it was like a couple of years ago since they moved away we've continued to talk on the phone he's about to get married. This month and he didn't invite me. And I feel weird about it. Yeah how often do you talk and I really don't talk on the phone that much but we talk and -- sometimes. And you know I was pretty close to them when he met his now gonna be wife. And you know we've been together. For -- we've been friends for awhile and you know I just feel weird about it because like -- of posts like my weddings whenever. And like we've talked about it before he just and I mean. Feel like weird about that's they bring it up to -- not say anything at all that ever happening that is."

" Really weird this is weird -- yeah that's really where it's I mean. Maybe you maybe he's having a really small wedding. -- You know that's yeah because we've talked about it like when he was in the beginning planning stages of that we were talking about it in. You know any didn't invite you any talk to you about his wedding. Just I don't know I feel weird about it and got out. If you bring it up I mean okay you have to ask yourself this question when you when you when people are wanting to confront something and someone about something. You have to ask yourself first before you go through confrontation. What ager and -- are you just trying to make them uncomfortable. Or are you lining an actual answer our resolution right and so. And then you also to think what would be -- consequences. So if you're just want to make him uncomfortable you can go ahead and do that and then expect that to probably never gonna talk to them again. If you're looking for some sort had. Solution like you expect him to stay well I'm so sorry actually you -- invited I thought you just knew that matter right or your invitations on its way we just sent -- a little late you know I. I -- and then you know you just have to go into it always. Thinking you know first before hand. What are the possible reactions from and are any of them going to satisfy you and if none of those reactions are gonna satisfy you don't talk to him about it. But I still likely to be weird if I since planning guest. Yeah you should not do that you don't think I -- the French and that's it. That the whole point and getting a wedding that that here's the thing if they wanted to gift from you they would send -- an -- Its engine and by knowing you probably can't -- across the country. And that's when you give them a gift you have to give a gift -- right. If you don't get an invite you don't have to giving yet you're not obligated. Yeah that's true yeah if you like action by our he didn't -- donated to invite and not his friend I don't out there that's your acquaintance entirely. I guess you just need now categorize yourself and categorize him like you thought you -- better friends and maybe you -- about you know. As far as talking to him about it like I said before we going to these. Confrontations with people we always have to think what kind of reaction my expecting to get out of this person in."

" And see if any those reactions are gonna satisfy you have a lot younger girls always email me there in junior higher -- I like abortion my talent that will you have to first ask yourself what kind of reaction do you -- is gonna keep you. When you say I like you -- are you expecting him to say. I like you two are you expecting him to. You know you have to like go through all the scenarios in your mind before you profess any -- or or say anything to anybody about -- thing yeah monster. All right in my opening up the phone lines it's ask him anything 888 to 925554."

" Give her called dvd nine called --"

" Decently fun you wanted to attack. Credit card but yeah. -- payment. -- Many cool food."

" Okay."

" As soon. Cool."

" Ask him anything whenever stated -- 925554. Police are what your question."

" I'm my question is that it's my voice and like -- aren't gonna break because he has like a lot of our issues. But now it's feeling bad about it wondering -- like mediation is that back."

" Police -- you just wanna go back because you feel bad about that. Do you love -- You wanna -- do you wanna be in a relationship with him. I Dubai at the same time I don't OK then don't go back. You can't be in a relationship just because you feel -- for the per cent. Yeah yeah I mean think about that just you know that's silly don't do that at our cash. As quick and easy Stacy hi."

" Hi. -- My question is for pop me in order for every here's -- com rock and my best friend. Over ten years got married this summer and now. It seems like every time I try and make and -- She would rather hang out at him and his friend. Then B and C I don't have made -- circle girlfriend. They're trying to understand it from Matt in point where he's this year as Iranian kind of friends and that brother and she's meeting in their lot in our lives and things like that. -- Over a month ago for instance I masters is. You know -- double couple urgency and I blocked all right -- And cheese blowing me opt to go hang out with him and his friends and it just -- breaking my heart doesn't buy you. Sometimes she. I have -- month -- don't like I you know I always go there have been occasions where I've gotten it and I can. She doesn't Ali and then. It's it's very painful. I don't know what."

" I don't -- Well okay there. I asked him well here's what you gotta do you mean this is your friend I mean here's here -- your options you can keep joking around about it or not bringing it up but in the situation gets worse. You know and and then you lose your panel together are you considered down and have a heart to heart over lunch or something. You know and you tell us how you're feeling. And potentially save the friendship. I mean it's difficult to do I understand that but look at your alternatives. The alternative is you're just gonna -- friend. So what you need to do I think -- you have a girls. Time you like a lunch giver a martini listener rob a little there. And then say hey you know what I wanna tell you something I love you care about you you're my best friend that I feel like I'm losing you and I don't want that to happen I'm afraid. You know don't pin it on -- like you're doing something wrong. Just say -- I just feel like I wanna spend more time together and we're not spending as much time together as we use to rent. And I'm really worried that I'm gonna lose my best friend. And I -- I just that that -- really scares me and I I just. Don't want that to happen I mean don't say don't don't be accusatory and -- her you're not paying any time with me and it's you're an offer their man's friends all the time -- you -- you know. Just say I feel this way and I'm afraid of this and I would like this -- my life."

" I'm about that were like that a couple times and it's not right. She takes it seriously but at the same time she's taking a lot more lightly and I am much makes me feel like I'm putting markers. In -- and --"

" Yeah well what you need to do you need to set her down and actually have a real talk with her about it maker understand that you're very serious that your very scared of this but you also -- if all else -- Friendships do unfortunately come -- go. -- don't have to sometimes it can be lifelong. But sometimes relationships run their course. Just like you know really a romantic relationship and you in Israel this friendship may have run its course."

" I have not -- my girlfriend. There's lots of other girls -- I now I now thank you don't lecture and you're the best stock pretty hot air."

" Thank you Stacy don't you get upset I'm telling you there are plenty of other girls out there you wanna have girlfriends. What was that one website until can you. Can you tell me out website at that their girlfriends -- you find girlfriend's."

" it over to me real quick. It's liking you can find a girlfriend -- you -- it's like girls connecting with each other women connecting with each other to hang out. -- yeah and it's like everyone's a stranger there's always six invited at a time. And there's six can. Meet up and kind of connect and see if you like each other and then you kind of keep going. For other like girlfriend dates you know it's girlfriends -- dot com. Yes you can find your girlfriend's a -- house."

" And here I. --"

" All right my number 888925554. If you have a question for me ask him anything."

" If you need information for something you heard on your time with -- go to Jim's website your time with Jim dot com."

" Hanging kiss me and now. It's a moon is seen."

" That is some snow."

" I think cities and beyond. And news. Way now leave me. Seeing. Less used pain. No I'm mad. She. As this and being. Yeah. And --"

" Cool and there. Mom. I'm. Yeah."

" Who asks. No one man who. I it is okay. Well yes. -- need nine men who. I -- and being."

" And and me meaning."

" Fast and loose change game yeah so fan votes here. Mean it's. Our ads. Yeah sleazy yeah if you. Yeah well yeah. Yeah."

" And."

" Ask him anything Rebecca what's your question."

" Teeny girl act in a deterrent -- you and attacked cooking he tried all. Try to act out -- that not long ago. I don't eat caught them and -- they keep me a lot he ought to be -- me an act. He liked means up like that. -- can get -- act I get it that's. Feel like BT eight girl take the product I."

" My gosh yeah I've been there done that with the cubs. And I'll tell you that it wasn't worth that it is wasn't -- that you just have to. Walk away I mean if he was really interested in putting forth effort if -- interest in Yeo. And you know yeah I know he says -- just like -- cupboards and those types of things to me but -- the end of the day it's way too frustrating it's just not worth that you will likes someone else. Somebody also come along somebody else will reciprocate. Somebody else like -- more and you'll like them back. And it will be a much healthier happier relationship you don't need to be wasting your time. Texting and calling and trying to get the attention of somebody else like you're the woman in the relationship he should be trying to get your attention. You've got the power."

" Exactly and I'd like every right. Going on production -- like texting him. Eat it comeback. Kid feed it keep playing mini or get. It I don't like him I -- and and I get it."

" Out you know why he does that Rebecca. He does it because he likes your attention and any likes you liking him. And when you start to seem like you don't like him anymore he wants to come back in to make sure you still like I'm so did eat a good forum. He just like she liking him you needed just say hey less and like I understand you like. Me liking you but I don't like you just liking me like -- how he likes. And it's a little complicated but you just gotta say your better than S women hold the power in the relationship a lot more than women know. Because that thing is is that manner trying to get -- so. Women have the ability to say when and where and how often and this is going to happen. And that you just have to beat -- wanna say. You know I I this is not working for me this isn't an arrangement that's working for me and I'm gonna find somebody else is gonna be in an arrangement with me that I enjoy."

" At that can hit you like picky I I don't act. Again."

" Honestly it's the it -- exact same. As my relationship with the -- and -- in the at the end of the day it will just makes you frustrated and you will pull your hair out and it's just not worth it."

" You're while -- high land. Well -- where I am great thank you welcome to show what's your question."

" And and they -- trying to mind constantly BC. And it's so long term trend on -- experienced -- include can can lend my Coke -- And now I've been very supportive and -- he -- having contests and hi -- sure that we know there'll always be fair for her. Could -- blacks he would. And attention comments she was -- don't want above the year Eric Holder you're not bothering me actually and -- and I feel the pain. I cannot make. Sure Oceanic and back. I want to be fearful."

" While I would think that the best way to do it is for you'd be contacting her first. You -- Africa's first that we she doesn't feel like she's bothering you. You know go out of your way to be the first to call go out of your way to suggest getting together and doing things just for stopping now I."

" Yeah because you know it was not something in a landfill and expected to shift it was an Olympic event I've heard you good to hot feeling never come back. It's fairyland where. Awful hand I want you think should should note that I would always be yeah it's not it's not. A very polite and I can be -- how far."

" Yeah so that I think that really the best the best thing that you can do is. Is really just the first to make contact to be the first to suggest getting together bringing her dinner for those types of things. -- not always make that first call. Okay all right -- and I thank you I. Ask him anything my -- 8889225554."

" And then I."

" Insurance. You -- thrown. Just -- Meaning being. He uses. And C news and just don't. Is Iran its. To Ryan Malone as the -- and it's. The son Islam and it's having. So I think."

" I. Mean."

" I have a video yourself and yeah."

" Plane alone -- news."

" I."

" Yeah."

" Okay. Notice."

" Anyway. Mean."

" A okay."

" I've done and then CNN news nine is now saying yeah. Mom and these."

" Well you. Okay."

" You know and wished alone -- That's on the moon us thousands. Okay. So smooth and then it --"

" I."

" Okay."

" Our -- ask him anything hi Katie what's your question."

" my -- the -- and -- mostly tour and I have never had a boyfriend -- ever think yes I'd never even held hands with that I. Small. So I need my question is I mean right now I have gotten to be overweight I wasn't always like growing up I allotments. I don't see how that was the problem. You know when I was in high school in your -- Yeah now that I'm in college. I just I don't see maybe I don't know I -- like what's your advice I just eating out there and and catching it that it's and."

" Okay first of all let me tell you your weight is not an issue there are plenty of girls. To have some weight on and who get lots of guys. So. I -- I never ever ever blame your wait for it because there will always be people attracted to you no matter your size of."

" That's first of all and second of ball I think what it is is that you just don't know how to flirt and your -- I'm not putting out the vibe of being. Available. So what you wanna do is and it I had a problem with this when I was younger I wouldn't make eye contact with guys and I wouldn't smile at them that was uncomfortable forming. And so what you need to do is you need to be better act you know making eye contact in holding their -- slightly in its really uncomfortable. But then smiling a little and giggling at their jokes and you know just kind of being a little bit more flirtatious -- open and and maybe even you know. You have to be open for yet know the signals of a guy says Tierra. You wanna come over watch a movie say yes because that means doing -- make out. -- Casey just got to be you do you just gotta put out the vibe. That you were open and available that your interest dead and I promise you you'll you'll attract it's a magnet thing you've got to just believe that and it will happen. Stop thinking that you're not attainable."

" What is that like I -- are gonna buy any I know you have to stop thinking not your cursing yourself. People without notice -- your capsule I -- everybody can get somebody. -- I think that matter much where exactly I am right. Right so everybody can get somebody everybody is attractive to somebody so you don't have to -- You don't have to think that -- not attractive or not DWR you that you're absolutely data when you just have to -- the vibe out there that you're willing to date. A right -- good luck act thank you night I shot with. Hey what's your question."

" I question needed. Would you ever start combining our -- a lot."

" What's your definition of stock."

" Clarity. -- take the bullet and which is spotlight what they're going if they do you have on another. There are all there."

" Sure I mean I think FaceBook is all about. You know showcasing what it is you're doing with your life. And so there's always a curiosity. And wanted to find out which -- are up to and so I think everybody naturally want to check out what they're doing. Once in awhile I don't know if I'd go as far as stocking them. But you know I would certainly I certainly have. Checked up to see what they're up to -- How they're doing what they look like -- with their new girlfriend looks like and I think that's a pretty normal humans feeling but you don't need be checking it every day and Mike. Creating fake FaceBook pages in order to find out what I read their status updates I think south. Our Irish on happy stocking. This. Asked him anything is every Thursday night thanks for joining me."

" Both extra food that we do."

" Jason's okay. -- the crowd was visiting me."

" Okay --"

" Okay. Okay. Things to. It was a good and he is day."

" Yeah."

" On time of them won't bring anything -- you deserve it. Mean seriously someone who's standing. Yeah. Mental and."

" We'll continue time with Kim Iverson. She's your girlfriend and -- to you now."

" All siblings fight Bryant and it is not normal normal part of life you growing up to fight with your brother your sister. -- sibling rivalry it turns out about 53 and every 100 children pick on their brother or sister even appointed maybe abuse. Now lot of parents kind of watch their kids -- I think this is just normal it's natural they just house sibling rivalry they just fight. But at what point does become damaging. Actually an adult life can really affect you may be that sibling rivalry never goes away carried on into adulthood. You think your kids a lot -- it you think that the love each other in the end. But maybe not all the time. Maybe a lot of times. Two people just happen to be born of the same family but they absolutely. Hate each other. How does this affect your kids how does that affect you when your adults what about adult sibling rivalry and that could be even worse. You when your kids are forced to live in the same house your parents make you play together they make you sit at dinner. And look at each other and talk to each other but we're adults you can actually avoid each -- completely. You can just say no I refused to show up to Christmas. Because she's gonna be there. You're gonna invite her I'm not coming and what a horrible position for your family and -- a sister."

" I did you guys fight. We don't anymore when we were our little leaf on all the time because of five years apart yeah but see we didn't get along at all and I -- on yeah now. On her and -- Little that -- younger wanna you picked on her you know we -- really young she would kind of pick -- but she was always nicer than islands so. I ended up being like sort of the bully yes. How did you -- I don't know I hate how does a sibling -- older allow the little spice she's really nice and telling you -- is like a saint. So why are you me or. His you know wouldn't two girls -- two girls are involved with -- each other they fight sometimes so let me and my sister or in the same house together and we fought over a lot of things would you pick on rumor. I know really just get in lake. Fights over she would think I took her clothes and I did and things like that may be really dead or maybe a dead at best that. You know regular sister stuff but it can't believe you're the bullying your by the -- as a bully but I was I mean. I was Scalia faults most of the time it's. But now we get along great."

" My sister her ashes a bunch kids but the the two oldest Cameron's error was funny because Cameron's three years old and Sarah and you would find all the time to -- and of course. My sister would blame camera and he's fielder went three years older and so whenever they would fight -- she would just camera. Quit picking on your sister not get off frank camera it's kinds of their Munich okay. That's. Cameron was Emmys still is he's a genius in Munich it was always really really really smart and quiet. And there was a little bit more rambunctious and younger and and she would yelling cameras all throughout cameras life. And then one days I don't know -- my -- did just listen to their fighting button. And it dawned on her look at all of these years it wasn't camera and instigating. Barack investigating every single byte that Cameron just sat there and using minding his own business. Mr. catalog. -- getting his stuff pristine state something or pick on camera caught up by. He gets sat in on an -- start fighting. Of course -- it would come whisking it. Says start I'll always therapy in the little perhaps hand. When -- dot daughters she felt so bad. About so that's like all these years it wasn't camera. My sweet little Angel and he is he's an Angel -- never done anything wrong. Sarah always was the problem of every -- trouble and was so funny is that he's such an Angel he wouldn't say. It's Aaron is doing as she's the one that picked on me she's -- started he would just say. -- Answers highlights sitting it out and she Dylan and like a little battle and she -- Is she would pick a fight and he'd get it up and she did at all the time because she liked him getting into orbit. An hour. Luckily those two -- it totally affected them and their adult elements -- sixteen count Cameron's out of the house in college and luckily they're pretty well adjusted and I mean sometimes it doesn't turn out so well. Next we're gonna talk to an expert about kids and their rivalries should you let your kids just -- should you let them just hammered out on their around. Rich out there nexus is your time that you might percent. Give or call 8889 called him at his home life that can be selfish thing so when -- that's your boobs."

" A perfect your hair is an accident -- you I would look around me for help time."

" Let them."

" This on the gentlemen. You expected. -- Discounted. Use that. Yeah it's it's capped -- It's sad enough. -- Connections and -- Soon."

" And."

" Kids fight right sibling rivalry that's pretty normal witness to explain whether or not you should allow your kids to keep on fighting. Is doctor Michelle Collins is a clinical psychologist also an expert from mom logic dot com. Hi Michelle. -- can sell -- a sibling rivalry this is pretty normal as an aunt."

" That's the thing I I always try to step to bad couple of my work -- in the family that that's. You know -- that conflict is abnormal it's really a problem it's set you up for total despair but I think. Have mostly with your kids and you have to realize that conflict. Between siblings is really normal. And it that we sort of have to teach them how to manage the conflicts."

" Okay so you to you should step in and make them stop fighting every time."

" No you don't wanna do that what you wanna do is give them a chance to work it out. And of course that -- as long as there's nothing physical happening right and I you know this how did they manage an and it depends on the -- ages of the children and the difference that age as. As to what is happening but I think what you wanna see -- whether the conflict style. I their children and how they inner being. That is most -- even for your own kids about it does change with age group and the end it with each child."

" So what point do you think you should step then."

" You know -- escalating. And escalating into her own. Escalating an attitude it's. And and back you -- kind of feel when the tension is building and and that doesn't seem like they're gonna get get anywhere else and I think what is really important to do with the stepping in and ask them. What is happening not to jump again. Not to assume -- thing when you rock and often say we do that we assumed someone did doesn't have Linda bass -- to try to put the kibosh on the bank."

" I was just explaining my sister did that with her kids and she always assumed it was her older. -- three years departure was -- older son that was picking on her daughter and years later she figured out is actually the daughter going to him."

" got my I have my oldest son and a younger I might my daughters Jenna and and that can be a lot of antagonism that goes on that you don't realize right. It's happening from the agilent and even from the that is not it and it is. It's not even -- which has adopted because of their age and you know the younger adult content be frustrating -- And they have to man you know they have to learn to sort of against the other point besides. I had not intervening all the time and and realizing that it isn't normal experience. Of the key helping children and develop empathy and understanding for that that. Because that's going to decrease conflict in an app itself -- we have empathy we care about our sibling. You know you're gonna you're gonna not argue with much is not gonna be -- contentious."

" Do you think -- that parents should step down after. The argument and make them safe tell each other that they love each other."

" You know I do I do what I call a repair. And I do think that's really important because what I think that a bit in life it's teaching them that conflict is okay and you can repair it. No matter what happens there is that there at the repair that Capcom happened and the didn't necessarily. A totally forced by Levy but it's an acknowledgment. I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings I conceded that happened and I'm sorry. And you know something of that nature like do you think a repair is very important it's it's teaching them very important like let -- I mean. As a golf I mean I know I have to apologize sometimes. Because by the Mets and the mistakes we all have --"

" On every single site when there's two people involved. You're at least somewhat in the fault even if -- and started the fight you did something during the fight everybody needs to say sorry to."

" Exactly and -- just acknowledging that and you teaching them still start later in life I think about that was my children often and is how my helping them manage conflict now yeah. Because when -- how old are they still he I don't know about you I'm 41 at this moment I have conflict with my foot -- didn't. What -- we look you know we do that hope that we have to be willing to pitch to prepare and to have understanding and empathy."

" I've been very very fortunate my sister and I have never ever fox."

" Oh my god whenever that is amazed saying yes."

" I would never ever ever actually there was one time I think I got a little harsh I had a harsh tone with my -- public tenure there she still brings up. I doubt she's gonna benefit she never gonna forget that one day that I was a little harsh in my time towards try -- think that I'm metropolitan. We've never ever ever ever file I don't know what it is about -- just don't have any I don't we don't fight I -- my brother and I fight and she fights with our our brother. Fights with both of us."

" But not -- but again that aren't there it depends on the sibling dynamic yeah. Yeah it's very interest."

" Yeah yeah yeah interesting all right doctor -- gone thank you so much for joining us tonight. -- welcome thank you for having me doctor -- gone against the clinical psychologist also an expert from mom logic dot com. Go to the website of course -- mom logic dot com does a great size as -- a great resource for moms and also doctor Michelle Collins dot com. Coming up next you know sibling rivalry often extends into adults -- County knew for gay and and finally move forward -- that's -- is your time -- Iverson."

" Life love relationships reality fashion through fun and music this is your time with Jim Iverson call 8889 called him."

" And a."

" I'm. -- and."

" Boom. Boom just praying to god that I don't --"

" It's."

" Our -- time she asked me the he's my. Have drizzle and don't AG."

" Jobs mean."

" It's okay."

" It's."

" It's."

" Case on time."

" Our I'm very pleased and."

" Just means you and god that I don't -- anything. Decide that's how how she got --"

" It it."

" Sort of good to me and I. Change. Tell you -- That maybe I am I thank you -- and in need. Innocent and see."

" C. And here. Mean that's."

" May mean. The land stacked and."

" We all know siblings fight when they're young there's always at poking and prodding and bullying but what about when you're an adult. Here with us tonight is Kathy Jo -- she's the author of mom loves you best forgiving and four jinx sibling relationships Kathy welcome to the show. Thank you. So you're an expert on forgiving siblings in adults had how common is at that that adult siblings to still don't like each other."

" Pretty common. Very very common most of siblings. Have something happened when the our young. That I kind of car I hate you story. And I would say that 25%. Of its siblings as they age yanked -- midlife. Have a harboring I hate story is something that happened between her to dinner at their -- and themselves. That makes them feel -- they don't like them in the room that it is usually simply my story."

" While some 25% of adults."

" Yeah I just kinda debating it until it's politics categories it and the last movie -- feeding him I hate. You know did considering that really had something happen when they were younger look different siblings it's. Usually gets eaten there very often that's kind of how you can tell that they had difficulty. And they don't really know why. They're not sure if the temperature stability age gap. But usually if something happened and they did they just can't put words to that data remember it. Including siblings you know that's something happens something happened you know exactly what it is she don't really like ping command is simply. And again it it you know given rivalry is really just about you know there's not enough. Loud wartime for parents to go around -- one -- gets more and the other child gets fascinates and every species. -- to do with fruit. Bad the last category I -- siblings everyone knows that because it's Cain and Abel. And violence or aggression happened between his siblings who were younger they know what happened. And they really don't see each other east of -- it's time that the book is. It's really about that as well put the Bible."

" What would you say is the number one reason why in adulthood siblings hate each other."

" I would say that I'd done the number one reason is that. Probably won't. And but midi is the youngest step for the favorites. And other siblings and you know specifically probably want siblings. Are very angry because that's a -- got a lot more attention. And it's. You know you can be the only -- to and the other. May have had to take care of other young children. Maybe a little heavy handed. Maybe they had to do things appearance said that it. You know we're all pros -- huge part in and sibling rivalry and -- you know how we yet."

" I know in -- if I write in my family my sister I never ever -- our lives but my brother and I. He has never love is never lie to me ever since I was born -- that the reason was because Osborne and I was the youngest and yeah and he just never ever got over and in fact you know as adults if he gets drunk enough. He sealed tell me -- still doesn't like me."

" See that the further it really I would they have all the gold."

" The one that's played the least and it is the favorite and she went beyond just."

" Yeah and is -- were born. I mean that's just what happened I mean the reason items like these because I was born."

" Well exactly exactly and you know and that's one of the things that they had you know its siblings can. Begin did you know -- as they get older -- the circumstances that circumstances you were born and you didn't intend."

" I mean yeah I'm sure he loves me but he doesn't like me you know he's never. He's never lie to me he just I think deep down he loves me at least I I'd like to think he does and given the benefit of the doubt and say does this have. Interesting so now what can you do if you -- here in one of these relationships what can be done."

" well the trick didn't control about your intention to change and the intention to change. Is changing yourself. Say take your brother. And your sibling relationship -- you have to use you know we want to be able to you -- things are going well and you would like to change them. And you know the reason in the beginning dead as siblings through early. Admit I want to change things is because in many cases you have -- your adult web ball left to live with. You know the person who really you know you know it's. You know the morning you know your staff. The longer period of time even more than you know your children so you had a fifty years say. To you know act out the contention and ask you how to."

" To change what you really have to do is change yourself. Which means caring for yourself I and then tell your I hate you Turiaf gave written down discipline."

" Wow okay so you say you should tell them. Why it is you absolutely can't stand -- a maybe you could start healing from their Kathy Jo -- she's the author of mom loves you best forgiving and foraging. Sibling relationships. The book is designed to help siblings tell there I hate you stories and to reconcile so if you aren't a sibling rivalry in your adult that. Probably a good idea to go to the website aging family 411 dot com and and start learning how to to finally move on and forgive. -- here's some sibling rivalry stories nexus is your time it to my percent."

" you can."

" She. Is. Initially. This news."

" Yeah."

" And."

" Things down and -- it's."

" Saying she's gone. You saw."

" And and thank you. --"

" a man came to me. He."

" Ran. I'm so. I mean."

" So."

" Sibling rivalry tell your stories my sister and I are accurate part. Eight you have your in my life I would the only child got all the attention and -- again -- and then. -- long -- From the get go you know is just one of those she'd taken all my. Yeah not -- an and it is just aren't that Big Apple and so three years it was just this. Horrible not even a look agent I don't hate I guess I intimate character -- home. Yeah and it got going I didn't wanna be around her at -- mother I hit a living with my great grandmother."

" Oh my gosh it was that bad you hated her. Yeah and -- things now held a year."

" I'm 21 now between two in just didn't about a month actually she's eleven you've been heating on -- little girl is full time. Yeah actually. I think she's twelve she issued or an idea how you just pay a little girl and the world congress -- It was one of those things where like -- earlier album -- illegal warned it because. You automatically think you can get a bigger one -- I. Same situation this is a little girls Stephanie. Occasional error how long to do heater for -- about time that she will. Four and -- probably. And home like I didn't wanna be anywhere near her -- after the plane when I was you'd think with high school and I think now immigrant tuna. Mannequin to you know get along now. Yes actually. I talked her aunt and pop like Everett -- hadn't."

" I'm glad you finally repairing that relationship my goodness deputy she's just a little girls and I thank you for your call. By. Sarah you and your brother had sibling rivalry."

" Always my mediate in the region accounts. And -- making -- spending -- mean like Hewitt. He would. They would say okay government so that your brother is say okay you wanna skateboard here take began to believe that the government keyboard it's what."

" Forty years old and maybe candlelight."

" I read either canned or their garbage bag and like a Teddy -- in all."

" City with the figure out is not in the -- and let you know on is what -- eighth."

" Not quite open and -- he hadn't used it Tierra. Not massively I think that Avery yeah because apparently it. Thank you know make him hang out UN staff. Apparently not but it into the it was -- favorite pirates aren't. Being and I think we're like it along just couldn't stand it. It's Regis -- know he built it they like. Collapsed says today yeah you guys. All right thank you for your call Sarah."