" I'm confused saying that holds the problem. -- and -- She sugar and spice and everything. Went into martini thrown in for good measure -- everything. This is your time."
" In this country to Gallup poll decided did you and Grilli to conduct of values and beliefs -- to find out what people in America believe. When it comes to certain controversial topics for instance wearing fur we've heard this final out. Right that we all know the times when. When it would wear fur coming at these big dollars an appeal will be standing out there as a red paint he asked throwing the red paint on these ladies while. Believe it or not 56%. Find it morally acceptable. To wear -- in his country so more people actually think wearing -- okay. And 39%. Think it's morally wrong I everyone thought it was morally wrong -- That's just the image that was implanted in my mind as a little girl watching TV and seeing the red paint -- Bryant I then thought so we got past that and now everyone -- for new news. But I guess that's -- and I guess we still wear leather. Yeah I'm so what would be the difference in other unfair there is not really I think the differences with firms may be it's this the type animal because they're scanning. -- various types animals wears leather comes from the cows were are eating the beef. So you might as well use the -- I do believe if we're using the beef we might as -- use the -- he -- used the whole animal right I mean -- but killing intentional efforts for her. The heavier retouched -- off recently I got pets and tell us how weird but yeah I had such NTELOS. The pornography. 30% believe that it is morally acceptable. Just 30% of ticket be more now 30% now 66%. Think it's morally wrong to look at pornography. I'm still debating on that one I debate on that one because of the actors that are in the porn I know some porn actress says and I do worry about the mental health and their emotional health you know I mean I just kind of wonder what one -- even though you -- very stimulating environment once in -- but it's just. How healthy are these people that are choosing to engage in -- okay gay or lesbian relations. Like -- it was 56%. Find it morally acceptable. 39% do not. Cloning humans. Cloning humans. 12%. Find it morally acceptable. 84% do not -- Yeah no cloning of humans I don't to cool -- now I'm definitely in that 84% you should not clone a human and it's kind of calm that I'm gonna clone you I would like that I needed another person around to do list of I don't and -- it would be little -- it wouldn't -- years sizing our age you would grow up eventually eventually you have to raise an accountant and a -- a not one topic cover produced the least amount of public consensus. With just 3%. Separating them in the case of this is that a topic that. We really don't all agree on as a country and -- really split down the middle. Do you know what it is. Lol we're pretty split them -- on this one interest at a friend's day Mina he's British and he said to me that if he ever got a degenerative disease any -- gonna die. And it was gonna be hard and his family and hard on everybody that he would go to Switzerland apparently they do it there. Yeah apparently they do doctors to statistics are so there's just some food for thought I think that if you're in that 50% he thinks it's okay. It's -- Switzerland and I'm also on the fence on that one to him because that's a tough one you know that's a -- one. But then I think Sharon and I don't really get into it but I do think -- really wanted to kill yourself there's like a lot of ways don't necessarily have to enlist somebody and it crank it out. -- We're gonna move on with the show believe we have some more statistics I'm like swarming in statistics. Swimming in statistics or swarmed -- statistics. Believe it or not in this country now I thought that we elect the melting pot right with all these different people on different races and -- we discuss these statistics. How many you know whites marry whites and blacks may blacks and Asians -- Asians and other key races -- and a racist and whatnot it's still very much. Like for instance a white has -- Fifteen million of those -- has been we'll have a white wife. Nicole Lee 500000. Having an Asian life. A 168000. Having a black wife and 487000. Having another a different type of you know Indian or something something different. And same thing with every other race black has been four million have a black life. Only 390000. Have a right -- only 39000. We'll have an Asian life. So going -- these stats racist pretty much stay you know people pretty much still marry within their race. Our next guest -- that we're over that too that I'm a mixed first and so I come from very different perspective. Thinking that no job mixing his normal comfort. Apparently it's not -- our next guest is gonna talk about her own. I'm struggles and her own challenges of being married in a racially and how we can all kind of you know get over that embraced it move on. -- mixed babies -- the best. That's coming up this is your time -- Ever find yourself screaming your radio. Well you just might it's your time with Kim Iverson's."
" Your time with him Iverson hours I was just telling you guys earlier -- I come from an interracial relationship my mom is Vietnamese my dad is -- it. And I was just as -- today in America that we've just become a big -- and everyone's okay with interracial relationships I remember in the ninety's is like a big deal. You know and -- there was like an interracial couple of a white man and a black woman or vice Versa locking down the road he would stare in -- we got past that. Apparently I'm wrong. You know I just can't think with progressed further than we have but. Diane Farr is with us tonight you know -- she's been on TV she's one of my favorites on numbers which is one might be used to be one of my favorite shows and I was on. See you definitely would recognize Turkey Google -- for sure. She wrote a book kissing outside the lines a true story of love and -- and happily ever after. Diana really just took for granted that she could love anybody she chose just like most of us. But when she being a white woman fell in love with the Korean American man she quickly learned a tough less and you know that basically we have -- like I said progressed and some people are going to be put some land mines in the way so she's here to talk about how we can. Really I am really just can't understand the dynamics of an interracial relationship and walk under the shadow. Pro. So what prejudices still exists now I remember when my dad told his -- remarried my mom that his Stanley freaked out. And when I was -- he said my grandpa was glad I was a girl because he didn't want an Asian carrying on the the Iverson last Hayden."
" Oh -- I got over. That's my gravesite you know he did get over he got over the racism but it does still exist."
" It ever does -- that to be that racism that may put it speaking about it that there is secret private conversations. That many parents still have with their kids and their kids. You know being between fifteen and forty. Walking around you know we're all pop or little that -- are created equal linemen and -- defense and education that we should have the same -- business and education. But then later on fifteen writer and keep your high school in puberty when your kids start eating that often hidden private conversations between mom and dad. And child saying but he can't love one of them but that your grandmother saying. I generally your grandfather and you have to marry another Asian."
" Now he was like he was my dad's down did you write Yasser saying man and -- well and I gotta tell you my age and -- to three justice racist it's my white. Yeah I mean they're like why you're gonna marry a white man and you know and then ES kids -- there's four of us are half and were treated a little differently and we really are buyer. In it is amazing that is still exist but what challenges did you -- crossed."
" Beaten theme thing -- made six -- my husband said to me you know this. This might be a problem but the Marriott carrying out and I. I think that you haven't carrying girlfriends you know like this isn't that -- girl. You get -- and it -- it'd take me a minute to -- it hanging in lake in -- hypothetical right and that he had been told all of his life -- that. He -- main Asian person and then which flavor of Asian. You know he's having been so many you know European western Europeans that they figure up to par with an Alaskan community this. This group doesn't like that group Middle Eastern Asian yeah it's sort of all the same we we have these guidelines and who is appropriate and who's not. And immediately when it comes straight down to it it just sort of Mary can't it's against everything that we're supposed to -- that this is one country where everybody sort of came to get away from. And eating better than just based on how long it in the country here -- the color of their."
" I think it's really the fear of the unknown more than anything it's like okay you marry this Asian man you what's his culture like -- going to be dominant is he gonna. Expect this from you an app from you right I mean there's us. Really the parents are kind of talk in their kids from the sense of unknown and and that creates that fear."
" I game I think it's. -- I think specifically it's the year of the death of culture that there. -- important things to their Stanley will die. There's some other killing on current them that they will do their Christmas different that they will -- to a different god that they will read your children differently than you -- oh yeah and that's a valid fear especially in a country that's really -- you know are so many cultures and then. But there's going to be a balance it's gotta be abound from -- option citing a child and not talking them for a short period of time -- long period of time. -- things really brutal things your own kid that's never gonna be taken back it is go ahead and marry outside of their race."
" Right so now in your situation did you feel like it was just your family that had these secret conversations that you're there were like Diane. He shouldn't marry Korean man for this reason and that reason why did you find that it was also strangers that which -- come up team and say what are you doing."
" Now I think our generation is a little bit lucky in that. There was. There is. No real conflicted with people my utilities there is a lot of curiosity eight radical out of hilarious questions like that had a really good friend who worked at the end numbers and at the end. Might have been smelled funny X."
" Wasn't -- question I was thinking but he thought I can't because."
" That I think because of that crew didn't like I don't know why does that not preinstalled but it like it -- candidate can be any gap and a certain part of New York on EU. I give it hilarious that that the bigger problem I had with understanding the bike and part of that is definitely -- privilege of like. We admitted to your parents brought their neck to get into this country and then they don't want -- to marrying eat it as a Caucasian person an American person like I came on the bottom of the race card. But I had that they are ridiculous my parents that. Thirteen 1415 -- just let them earn their docket. They just to see you earned it me the most but. I flopped them on that mandate I bought them very year that it through all of college to make Chinese than it was a dramatist who perhaps that is looking for the site. But what of the -- I think they're being interviewed for the book where how many people of generation Mac or Generation -- That we're still -- by -- if only to please their parents yeah and then it became -- currently furthering that. There are you really getting cut off that part of your life her with them and you may love just the pleased that previous generations. We narrow minded. Adult who had a routine is for the but became -- in conversations that are very funny about. Where -- his -- in are we really poetry so just because we have a half black president. There was so much hope you know -- in its last four years that we really hit a mild and I think we have but. I don't think it down until we sort it could -- home."
" Yeah I yeah I think you're definitely right there I think that on the street like you're saying you know outsiders aren't coming up teasing what are you doing and you know this is is really weird or something but it was more private inside the home and I think. You know in the beginning it always starts on the street in public and then as things progressed it kinda comes in a home like they're still racism they're still. You know all of these things happen inside the home. And you know it does take a few generations to die off unfortunately. For these things to kind of -- for grass back. You know I came from interracial relationship and I -- stayed on his parents out there who think it's. Not a good idea for the kids to marry outside their race you know as kids we turn out to science."
" And that's. Yeah right it's like being at a much and the -- and I'm proud of all right Dan thank you so much for joining us tonight Diane -- she's an actress also the author of kissing outside the lines a true story of love and race. And happily ever after you were so mean our dating outside your race maybe should pick up the book go to her website get Diane -- dot com. -- only sits Felix she has a lot of friends the veterans FaceBook FaceBook dot com slash your girlfriend Kim."
" Your tennis champ says something happened to me on the trail today has walking my dog and I'm so angry about this I am so mad about as. What you have a dog or not you've got to hear this story is I think I ran into the Michael Vick in my area. Okay I mean I know Michael -- a reformed now we you know what I'm -- and write a dog fighter somebody who does that sell anywhere am -- my little fluffy puppy. Down the trail I ticker off leash for a little house as she can sniff around and run around. And we're on the trail and I'm about I'm not good with distance that lets -- fifty feet from a guy and he's with the girl. He's younger probably in its early twenties she's a sand. They have a Bulldog that he's walking unleashed. And the guy yells out to -- he says. Hey he's not good with other dogs he's not good with other dogs as my dogs running around crazy. Sniff and things anyway my dog -- he has -- my dog is friendly with all Sox. She wants to stay high and play with everybody all dogs people she's a little leery about dogs she last. Says she sees the dog and she starts bolting toward the dog while the guys saying my dog's not there with other dogs my -- not gonna for the ducks. And I hear he and but what -- a -- in my -- are bolting toward that dock so I. What do you expect this guy would do in that situation and pick up his job -- excellent away right right right you know what he -- black. Before my dog got to his -- my dog was probably at this point ten. Twenty feet away from his stock my dogs running my doc has not reached his -- yet. She drops the leash steps back and puts his hands in the air. Law -- twit puts our hands over her mouth like something's just gonna go down right now I don't mind he was trying to get the -- to fight. Wow he said to me my dog doesn't like other dogs he Vinny drops the leash. And steps back. But why would you drop your -- and step back yeah that's weird it's really weird I don't understand I just and you know I'm not good with other people and I spent the -- I mean I couldn't believe I can understand and then the girl you know immediately when he dropped deletions and just why would you dropped a leash for one like never -- now. You know his dog was an even pulling you're doing anything yet his dog was just standing there luckily his dog did nothing. So when my dog ran -- to -- his dog they safety tether and that was out like. My god doesn't put off any weird vibe to other dogs and even aggressive dogs like my -- So this Dodd didn't even get aggressive with my -- at all. That they got today you know because basically this guy dropped at least before he even knew what his dog was going to do -- Might not drying out as Dodd he drops -- steps back with his hands in the air and she covers her mouth. This is before my dog even at Dickson and yet that's terrible to you knew that the news and that they thought something was gonna go down right then and there. Between his Bulldog and my fluffy Teddy bear puppy be kidding me president bulk another pebble. Bulldog like the big fat ones big fat short thing. Gas and it wasn't much bigger than my -- brain are -- like height but it was much heavier you know big. -- and I didn't understand that I mean I I I really don't I mean in less I mean I'm and you dot governor. So is that like a -- I mean if your dodge. I wouldn't fans but -- got a trick like if your dog's gonna get aggressive for someone else's dog the drop police let your dog do its thing. I don't know I mean that doesn't seem like something you'd do if your dog is an aggressive dock and it sounds to me like to hold onto at least tighter. I mean I can understand him dropping the least of his dog was tugging and tugging and even and well I would expect him to drop at the maybe he'd lose grip percent hang. By accident job sure but this he just drop the -- stood back put his hands in the air I see I swear you proceed -- again. I'm so mad about that did you say anything to -- afterwards like you had to go get the dock right now might well our dogs and."
" To each other and and that here's a -- let's go boy. Yeah and then my dog followed me in his knock on him but I didn't understand why he dropped the leash. That's weird and why he I am just really upset about it act I feel like he was. I know that dog fights happen and of people into that sort of thing and I felt like that divide by got was that this guy was into that. Source -- enjoyed seeing his stock fighting underdogs. -- And you know what was he gonna say -- I'm I'm a guest. In hindsight like animal control -- come around or something. He does it well I told her my dog was aggressive at my dog was on a leash -- mean I did everything right 80 except to drop the leash -- are backlit. That's scary. Yeah I'm still mad about I'm still I'm just reeling over and I want to I want to find the guy so I told my friend who has a big old German shepherd. And I said -- taking your dog."
" On the -- on the -- an exact same time tomorrow I'm gonna find that guy to bring a -- me German shepherds that sit down. Yeah my dog doesn't like other dogs. Get up early. I'm so mad about about it over the phone lines to."
" Maybe I'm maybe I'm just reading Iran. I I would imagine if your dog aggressively hold on Elise is that you know. Am I just overreacting about says what do you guys think my number is 888925554. At this segment is brought to you by PetSmart. Alleges -- healthy happy --"
" Running with my dog today she was off police we came across to guy with a -- on the Bulldog was on the -- he said hey my daughter is not good with other dogs. As my guys running towards his dot. As my dog approaches he dropped the leash and his girlfriend covered her mouth like something's about to go down. I was mad about this thinking that you know this guys like the Michael Vick in my area so I wanna know is is this something useful to -- drop in the least highly --"
" So you're saying this guy to the right thing why. -- Well because it every trail idea that your attention. On the leash is gonna try and Turkey at all. So they're gonna -- you're changing an act upon. So -- I don't necessarily agree that it shouldn't drop dead but he wasn't intense mode. Yeah that is gonna transfer to the dog which is gonna put the dog to Adam you know I -- to."
" That's weird thank you Lisa I appreciate that thank you -- welcome to show. See you also say this -- to the right thing."
" Well he'd probably experienced that before and it didn't go well. Other thing get the middle of an injury to himself is so -- I've been in that situation and that's what I would do now. You let the least now seems like you to control your dogs. -- that -- but he checked me bad and I want him and had like myself but."
" Right OK okay I don't. Very existing got a lot of phone calls and it was -- mall but a lot of people are saying that yeah he dropped the least that stops them from being aggressive. Submitted a guy wasn't a dog by her triple -- I guess I won't -- my friend's German shepherd on them next time so thanks for joining me get any comedy Melanie and -- your time -- dot com --"
" The discussion continues on -- FaceBook for."
" FaceBook dot com slash girlfriend --"
" Just a little update in my story and getting a lot emails of people saying my -- you've been off leash but it was an off leash park I'm a -- dog owner."
" I join you."
" Do you listen at all she -- three marriage proposals countless relationships and ex boyfriend turned gay and cat. I'd say she's pretty qualified to give advice and she's -- Iverson and this is your time with him."
" Whereas they went because of their three day weekend I'm I'm off today I keep thinking it's Tuesday."
" Now like where my men where's my like current stuff -- hot day. We Tuesday everyday for Maine and -- it is Wednesday right pack we'll later on as -- to be doing a -- am I continuing and we give -- just yet and I'm gonna give deal away actually. I'm auctioning her off. Just kidding we get -- Britain's money man. I mean I'm not doing fair. Money. -- And spun out and have to live the rest of your days pass -- can't. I am giving giving something away later this hour -- have to list and and essentially call in in the amount you'll find out more here in a little bit okay it's kind of -- secret. But it's going to be fun it's it's again once out. But you know I turned 31 this year. A why do you say it like that I don't know vise like that because I look 31 what's going -- he looked twenty lion oh okay that's a stretch she -- a big fat lie. You're 21. More like -- twenty. I don't know I guess I'm looking -- I -- looking 31 because here's the problem I'm being hit on biodiesel man. And I don't know whether to take that as a compliment. Or to be upset about it but I'm starting to be upset about it because it's happening all the time now and I'm starting to think I look olds -- god -- Syria and yes how why else would Alderman hit on me they won a trophy wife obviously but I it but that's like. It never happened to me in my twenties at least. Not that I governing either I'm putting myself in the situation now where -- hit on by older men and maybe I didn't do that in my twenties and more I just look older and they feel like they cover shots now I -- really -- corporate this it like being called -- for the first time. No woman wants I know Molly you in Tennessee love to call people ma'am and it is suites. But it's also. -- For those of us who climbed over the age of thirty and then we feel like oh great man out. I'm old and then -- get all these men who were in their forties and fifties hitting on me I'm starting to feel old I must look old that must be what is. And."
" Well it's not it's not that's not what it's about. I think guys when they're in their. Late teens twenties even thirty some of them don't have the confidence. And at that point during the mid forties he hit a certain age we like you want. To heck with it and not I'm gonna go up I'm gonna push the prettiest woman. Then I think I can at least have a chance of dating now."
" That that's my point I think that no until you don't really really think they have a shot out I become the woman that all men enough. That's not the case this happened I that is not okay. Is because -- this woman and her eyes in their forties -- like I don't know anybody who's. 2120. I still alone Tony 120 you do you I don't want them you know honestly I look at about 26. -- I would be safe at 1026. I'm so upset over this. It's happening to me almost every day that's good now -- he might think it's good to be on every day like that's flattering except they're old. Where is good to know what is it -- teenagers physically and I think in the I like -- let me now -- idea to year old mare I in nineteen -- they at least have to -- 21 ideally I think at least taking the bar might be injured and now I'm not ashamed and yeah they're great they're tradable. Then and now I think he should be flattered I think it would -- anyway if they work up the courage to talk here in Songaila older I think men have a tendency to ask out women they think they genuinely have a shot that so if I'm not getting asked stop by the hot young ones anymore. Which I mean it's like it's just it's it's drastic -- it's either I'm getting the 21 year old -- getting 51 year old really nobody in between. There's nothing wrong with -- in New Orleans there's nothing wrong with -- when he -- on the top of effects that their babies they are not babies still proves my point there's people better in their twenties -- thirties that won't. Approach you. Because they don't have to -- and now because they're looking for someone younger and hotter. OK man I'm telling -- I've become mold and this is why the old guys are asking me out all great my intern -- getting. Why -- you agree with me George."
" I'm gonna have to say I agree unity because years externally in the skin. I'm not a joking and I. Well I think you need to -- a -- confidant about it takes a lot for ignited the that the near -- yeah I need to be happy with any went askew out no matter how they nine."
" Agree now I want to younger ones wire -- young ones asking me on George carlin's."
" Because they're scared little babies."
" And you haven't and I did not ask them out of it used now you're not. William I'm gonna stocking -- one kid and he just turned 21 but he's hot looks -- there's this one kid that works here that I OK I got a fatal crash on I'm not gonna he thinks -- Coca -- He thinks I'm kidding. You like I should have an ever present the biggest trash on ice Sears and what date that kid he's got a girlfriend I'm I'm like waiting on the sidelines."
" That's an imminent during an election that Jill says get jealous and it's like watching the nature channel. Stock in your yeah it. The kid doesn't know it's Kaminsky had too much confidence for the young ones if tonight's they're scared about that."
" You're fired up -- yeah hey don't fire up. A coming up at the phone lines does this mean look at old the old guys are asking me out almost every day I'm just really I just sixty years old. That must mean they just think I'm in their range now I'm just I'm really. I'm upset over an estimated 8925554."
" Thank you fun fearless female this is the radio show free. It's your time which Kim Iverson's."
" All right Lisa tell me do you think being hit on my older men reasons starting to look --"
" No you're not because. The older guys they say that the people they think would be suitable partner because they know what they wanted a gangplank. Net if you wanna hang out as he is now looking for anybody. The messed up the younger guys they're asking you out what -- second thing now."
" Well yeah I mean I guess I'm not really I don't really ask anybody out Eminem just kinda -- it out but I think fifty's you know I just have noticed I'm getting a lot more attention from older man these days. I mean the younger guys you know maybe once -- still but the older guys they're just like you know all over the place."
" Yeah I'm under the 45 this year -- keep getting messed up by thirty to 33 year old. Hamas and its in its older guys that wanna date."
" And you want the -- what we just -- As I'll introduce you to all the guys are hitting on me you introduce me -- guys hitting on you we're yet there are arrogant and silly stuff. You're -- are not that Nicole."
" I can what do you think. I think -- need to stop whining I think need to. You are beautiful and it. Mean I -- understands what I'm an expert at the very entertaining at great personality that he the time it. But I don't think back. You're not ready for that. You know committed relationship keeps you getting through these -- is the founder dateline whatever your isn't -- your district and right now and product cool. You know the older men are looking for someone and she is settled down Atlantic -- add."
" You're too old even settles down there are things don't work anymore they're like fifty to sixty. Don't order your only line you know where crap I just like do you think of fifty or sixty a man -- have kids. And why they ask me out on the -- to be hurt by. Yeah yeah yeah veteran black. Oh my -- what got me in. It's. You know we didn't get any worse called I don't know if you're helping or hurting me a look."
" Time you get anywhere Condit 21 year old slipped anti bodies -- to look at other night you asked. Well they can feel it pretty well didn't just -- and they don't don't be apps that are bothered her feel like you're looking all because you know the main -- and they are paying attention now."
" Not my own agents might appoint an older way old -- About. I wouldn't be okay and my -- and."
" It hasn't sat me. It doesn't upset me something I have a couple kids. You know -- and I."
" No I just don't want it to me you know I just feel like people ask people out they really think they have a shot where I'm always surprised when it's like fifty or sixty year old starts hitting a man like -- You really think that this is gonna happen and then -- and then -- and I think well maybe they do think it's -- main guy at a time I need than ever tried dating at zero. Kind. Doesn't really work form -- I I don't want that. Yeah I mean I want somebody you know if I do wanna have a family I wanna have the option. Yes and I mean that thanks Nicole and I erupt and have a good -- act -- headaches. Hi Charlene. Hi how old are you are basically. Here to get -- by these fifty year -- I dare you do."
" Where I work at McDonald's and I got hit Aaron -- old guys all the time. Somebody is like five bucks because they -- at a tech people right."
" Why -- people you meet I'd bucks for a sexy okay yes I yeah I need the money. -- things certainly can so it's it's not necessarily an old thing it's just a woman thing."
" It really a hundred my brother has the brand that will -- anyone out yet now they act. Strategies. And I ain't you'd have egos that are garrido. They don't lose it when they get older."
" They just keep on -- actually think you know have a denying you I want five dollars from anyone who thinks and a sexy whereas Adam. -- guys' perspective reminding asked my old guys to follicles."
" Absolutely not mandatory Simon -- out here."
" Send me a picture Adam. Has a patent and buy dollars stick I thought now yes absolutely. You know I just I really do think that people ask you bluntly they think they have an actual. Shot went and that's why it's been concerning me lately gaming is -- dawn on me today and I was like what is it may look at maybe that's why legal guys are asking me out. Anyway I'm gonna do a giveaway coming up later on this hour so be sure to stick around it's a good one this is your time Kansas."
" Find him on Twitter at twitter.com slash girlfriend camp."
" Why is it man can't stop and ask for directions what is energy and it their genetic code. That makes it's where they can't stop to ask for directions it's like the most frustrating you know how to say. Divorce is always instigated by money sexting kids and putting its money -- kids and driving in the car. I think it causes just as many fights -- anything else did you think Jill I like the big fight between your credit right."
" Yeah because I feel like he doesn't know where he's going and I feel like at the -- time and I. He gets mad at me because I -- I guess is that a word -- tell your actions and he's likely and driving does -- you're driving or do you ever driver and a car I hardly -- in the car in the -- it's usually him in any gets lost a lot of time on the what do we just stop and he won't. -- your wife -- a -- over this do you."
" Never stop and ask I never get lost and I see this Clinton and paint this is what they think they think they don't get lost and they're just taking the scene great."
" When I was a kid I would worry about alma compared to getting a loss and now that the amount of like how can you get lost in your own city. And then again if you're going someplace different. You only -- maybe be a blocker to -- if you figured out and then you go the right direction now and saw my gosh cities have grown."
" You don't know every street date if there's guys got their build new streets every day that's why if you're gonna go someplace you don't know you -- out first -- CG map it out -- before but I'm -- gonna ask during. According to the Wall Street Journal driving is one of the number one catalyst for disagreements among couples. Catalina. Plus satellite and in the car driving out my gosh I used to. Yell at sandman -- and extremely stable had different problems. He stand man. He would drive. For some reason he left to tailgate. -- get right up on the car economists and -- like we are you afraid. That you're gonna -- Page are you trying to spy and the people in front of us or you afraid your gonna lose them somehow. Even though we don't really wanna find them and --"
" Acting gig you know beyond their -- to get through that yellow light or what's the deal. Mixed screaming on the other hand he is driving he would never for one stop and ask for directions or loss all the time he was too proud. To stop that drove me crazy I didn't understand that secondly he drove like a crazy man. He loved he drove in -- he'd get these really fancy cars. Like right -- BM WM three and you try to coerce me to go back out to LA to hang out in this last weekend I was like no. I'm not getting in the car you pop pop pop series it's that big a fight and like look I'm not gonna risk my life and what good are you is an ER -- if your dad's. Yeah that's right he's like I could save you if we crash -- like nine you'll be injured TO let's find your bodies will be -- yeah com I never understood it but you know fighting in the car is just huge in the of course you're distracted by the fighting which hit. You know leads to more fighting because of the driving gets worse and worse and -- at stopping asking for directions why can't demand due guests. -- I talk to man about you and he says I have a built in atlas. Really in -- built an outlet Irish lost right."
" and I asked people onetime you know OK tell me how you can kind of get through this with germanic is there a way to cool worst men. Into stopping an asking for directions I think I asked us to the Y chromosome the guys said. Tell him to stop and ask for a short cut."
" All. Because maybe he'll stop a -- cement its its not like I'm lost. It's more like hey I'm trying to get to this location I know a shortcut we need to get their quickly. See that's the way to really course Amanda Scott asked for directions -- and best stationary you never have to stop and ask because you do -- as. And you somehow mapped out haven't even mapping it out sometimes. That doesn't work either 'cause I know my boyfriend uses Google Maps or whatever it is math question -- it lost. And he still unanswered there accidents. Yet to get him to ask for short -- I'll try that tonight."
" And I tried it once with one of those devices say turn here turn left whatever. My wife was holding that. And every time it said turn left -- one mile right I heard turn left -- one mile she repeated everything that things."
" the idea of home buying and now that would start arguments that it does every time Cooper. Can't climbing over the phone I don't -- community got an a huge fight over directions. Tell me about it -- gotten lost -- so lost your partner. -- has with a girlfriend at least there was an -- guy but she got has lost four hours. We're driving from Boise up to Seattle she got us lost around Portland. Four hour detour via satellite and I hear your teacher story 888. 925554."
" Looking for the best in getting lost story because your man wouldn't stop and ask for directions and -- 888925554. I got some on the lions finishing as the best story wins. They tell you it's worth 200 bucks about a little over 200 bucks an answer really is really cool off it's gonna help -- out 888925554. -- for the best story."
" Find out secrets. Behind the scenes drama followed the show on Twitter -- girlfriend Kim."
" I'm doing a little contest I'm giving away a little sound -- worth 219. Dollars and 95 cents to the best story. The best getting Gloucester city got lost it and stopped to ask for directions that's what I'm looking for Stephanie tell me your story."
" Well you know why don't -- And library for quote -- a -- Six -- near a hot chocolate. All and wondering how how I home. And there was -- wired and it was -- aren't EPA I don't Chinese yet. Barnes and besides he can get it I -- county and it -- follow each each and saying where markets are closed. And we aren't telling outweighing their scoring around like I'm different term than initially -- are you a broad and don't know you know clean up I'll accept it Laporte aren't out."
" That's against story are right Becky welcome to the show. -- at the time you got lost."
" I'm pregnant and we can't speak at an openly and her husband repair it but the Mac to get it Larry and from what happened to Ohio. And -- into. In the evening went to actual house in Indiana and we're getting ready to take up the next morning and get -- not a problem. Look at the map and figure we hadn't -- school in Ohio we can figure we know we're we're going -- Mac. And everything that's going to help from my parents' house and that that he."
" Oh my gosh."
" Two hours later we're pulling into account we don't know anything about how it's totally blind no -- wanna sit in on get eight and find somebody who can get back to main road together in the right they're actually out and ended up very spoke to be at times but. I'm a Mac we -- you court."
" That is funny Becky thank you hold on. All right Lisa let's hear your story."
" Okay so all we went to Idaho on a road trip -- the they're different in mind. And we thought it nice and leave the house can go get beer for everybody. And we get up around for Allentown have to have been would not pull over and ask somebody you straight ATP and and trying everything looking and trying to restore. Couldn't find out they don't sell beer and our current account for starting around not asking anybody. And helpful in Oregon."
" That is so funny alias yeah."
" He wouldn't one person to think. Yeah an hour and a half later and yet -- just not gonna ever find out if not they're finance Caylee is at -- diaper -- OK okay. All right -- tell me your story."
" I can't have it eighteen I quit and at that time -- I. -- on -- SeaWorld patent filings and friends and we did that we're edit we Red Sox fan. And who we become minor car wreck on I think I've got separated from our frank. -- Well Randy should ever ever watch and we hang out there for awhile and that night he told me that he let me for the first time and that. Here we celebrated and letting it."
" And K hang tight Tara. All right -- and gel can. And all you guys about I think the one on alcohol on my driver cannot put the hook for political thriller -- Of course still actually collapse on its. You didn't you are and that's anti you know he's that I Levy for the first time you were driving around -- forever. But let's keep -- love gallon so -- you wait and yes you win a TomTom. GPS units -- and -- are -- familiar with best."
" I didn't I do you -- far but I know I'm glad."
" Yeah I it is worth like 220 facts are that it's awesome you just plug in and it tells you where you need to go you'll never get lost with your honey again. Yeah are you guys will finally be able to find SeaWorld. Our freedom can. I love my TomTom with a million more miles of roads and other leading US map providers TomTom always finds the open want to keep you moving forward TomTom anything less."
" It's just GPS yeah."
" Can't fix -- it makes me. Show -- ever show -- over the shoulder boulder holder. It's kinda like show and tell but with a lot more detail. It's your time with Kim Iverson."
" Thanks for joining the show tonight now addiction is a very difficult thing to have to deal with when you are the person dealing with it or if you have family members who are addicted to substances. Or you know maybe they're sober right now but we all know if if you're familiar with addiction as a bride he's kind of on and off kind of saying. My notes and you and I both have family members. And we both done with addiction and her family -- you. T of addiction and your family here and it actually my boyfriend is an act. He's been so -- but you're always in panic and think yeah I mean it's always. Well you know in my family I have my dad was the oldest of eight kids and there's only four were alive today my dad's oldest Pakistan. Report grandparents had to dairy three of their kids. It's due addiction -- died at around 4041 years old. And -- don't really loss allies to addiction addiction runs in my family a lot of us have questions you know like. Is addiction and genetic right I mean you inherit this so if your dad was an alcoholic or you prone to being an alcohol. What do you do when your kids come to you may say that their backs yeah how you support them I mean. A lot -- they Tuesday they let the kids live in their homes and then they they kind of in a way become enablers right because they're given their -- money or. You know they don't like put their kids out on the street addiction specialists say oh that's the worst thing you can do. But it's heart wrenching I mean how do you deal with addiction well luckily tonight I have an addiction specialist coming onto the show. And it's lifeline so all our -- going to be answering questions for you in the same ones I was asking like is addiction genetic. How to use stage an intervention -- they actually work. What the different kinds of addiction out there so some people might be addicted to things which would even think up a lot of kids these days you that there addicted to you. Painkillers and they're stealing them from their friends' parents their moms or dads are taking those painkillers and sounds. How do you break addiction can you ever truly break addiction and you know a lot of -- say a lot of parents -- about the kids -- it's just they're experimenting. At what at what point is experimentation turn into addiction. At what point do you be concerned as an adult thinking okay Mikey it is no longer experimenting they're on the road that is gonna lead him to death and destruction. That's gonna damage their lies completely. So we're gonna bring on an addiction specialist this is lifeline here in the entire -- to your questions ready and opening up my phone lines and -- 88925554. Still ahead open your mouth and speak your mind it's your time with -- Iverson. Are you or someone you love struggling with addiction -- tonight for lifeline I have an addiction specialist to hear all our. To get your questions ready to number 8889 called camp. He is doctor lance -- notice he's a psychiatrist and addiction specialist also. The author of breaking addiction and seven step handbook for ending any addiction and doctor lance welcome to the shadow. Thank you thank you so much for joining us -- all just talk about an addiction in general what is addiction."
" Well it's a great question because. A lot of people have ideas about -- that really aren't quite. Right and it's not their fault it's just that the word confused and several different ways. Most people tend to think about addiction in terms of the physical qualities as addictive drug. Things like alcohol -- heroin which you can be physically addictive and that is a real addiction physical addiction. But what's important to understand is that that is not the key factor in the problem of addiction in fact it's quite unimportant. It can be a big medical problem but it's quite an important because. We know how to fix physical addiction like. Being addicted to alcohol or you have to do is. Get detoxify go to hospital for a few days or sometimes you can do it on your -- And after few days you're no longer physically addictive but we all know that that doesn't cure the problem. So it physical addiction isn't really the problem. What it is is that when people do addictive behavior they're trying to solve. Terrible feeling of being overwhelmed and helpless. And when they make that decision. Who do an addictive behavior. Either drinking or gambling doesn't really matter yeah. They feel. Let helpless because now they know they're going to do something that will make them feel better they believe will make you feel better. And and so it relieved. Now of course in the long term prediction is devastating and it doesn't help at all right but in the short term. That's how it works that's what drives it's a compulsive. Psychological behavior."
" Okay so what types of things can you be addicted to."
" Well this could work that way is not restricted to drugs at all and in fact many people. Who have drug addiction also have or switched to non drug addiction. I use the run the the largest gambling critic in my state. And we would commonly these people who -- had whose only addiction with compulsive gambling but prior to that. They had an alcoholic or drug. Abusers and they they stopped doing that they switched over. Sometimes that switch back -- about 40% of compulsive gamblers are alcoholic. Almost anything can serve the purpose. From drugs -- to gambling to shopping to exercise is sex to excessively cleaning your house. All of these things can be substituted one for the other the almost anything can can fit the bill."
" Gosh I wish I could switch -- on my addictions maybe it's like eating sugar or something cleaning my house on time."
" Package costs or working out you know things are actually gonna forming yeah. Okay well."
" Really is in the long run I think none of them were good for you because. By their nature as compulsive behavior you end up doing them too much so almost anything done too much is not good for you."
" Okay so is addiction genetic that's another one because a lot of us have. You know addicted family members grandparents parents we wanna know is this past has it passed down to us we have to watch it."
" Well the short answer is you cannot inherit an addiction. There's no such thing as saying you know my father or my mother had alcoholism and I'm I'm doomed it doesn't work that way at all. In fact if you look at people who have the same -- namely identical -- they have exactly the same game. It's one of those witnesses and it's one of those have to help close and the -- thought the other does not. That's an interesting fact to keep in mind because if it were a a genetic disease like food genetic diseases that would be impossible. Because you have the same -- So the answer this has been studied very extensively but the basic answered if you can't inherit an addiction. It's even if there is some genetic loading -- come. People and that's a very big -- because that's the best information we have. It just isn't a factor that is that -- the reason that people have -- and that is that if that's good news because devoted Eugene there would be nothing you can do about it."
" Yeah well I mean I guess that stay away from that you know stay away from whatever substance it is or whatever and as you think might be causing. You know what we you'd be susceptible to I guess."
" Yes except that -- that is for example -- alcohol. People I have tried very hard to find out if there was something about alcohol without the substance the chemical alcohol. That might have come to do biologically would give. But. Nobody could ever ever be able to find anything it's yeah in fact the only genetic. Whose genetic marker had have to do with alcohol metabolism. Is the kind of thing that is seen in Asian people and in native Americans. Where if they drink a lot they get but it's a faculty Asian flush."
" Right allergic to alcohol."
" Right and when the will that is it that is due to a specific -- gene defects but of course. If that were the cause of alcoholism then you're expected to work the opposite way couldn't make felt colder gun put to."
" Right yeah I'm happy agents I definitely turn red drink. Yeah it's like you like you said to get that Asian flash so it certainly happens I know an iPad. A few drinks because and I start to look like Afghanistan -- third things in pictures. Aren't we have doctor lance is with us he's an addiction specialist the author breaking addictions seventh -- candidate for ending any addiction and any questions dealing with addiction you're dealing with addiction and your loved one is doing with addiction you have specific questions about it. Going to give us a call -- 88925554. You can also visit doctor and stars as web -- it's just lance noticed comes DO DE -- Dot com we'll be right back. -- Find him on Twitter twitter.com slash girlfriend -- It's lifeline I've got the experts you have to questions -- expert is doctor lance -- he's an addiction specialist also the author of breaking addiction and a seven step handbook for -- any addiction and we're taking your calls hi Amy. You're on with doctor -- Richard quest and."
" Well like my you know my other. Has been an alcoholic for the -- their ears. India and apparently during rapidly the only repeat it Americans that work at their way he did I hit it -- all the time. And he pulled me back it's typically a pop opera has been quite at that point that you would. Eaten up the hill and and not vehicle lives basically without up on it when it's not that was -- you're an excellent option for and the opposite."
" Okay well. That says that the pretty you want to answer. It's not true with a thing. From the fact that the sooner we get to. If you get poppy help hold the better off you'll be as far as itself is the suspect. There is no drug that you can't get off of and it says that forget that earlier actually getting off the drug. With. Under a medical care. It is not a particularly hard thing to do it's not even that they're painful they're getting off the drug without medical care can be dangerous depending on the drug. And alcohol is one that could be dangerous if -- just if he were drinking a lot everyday Adobe had a physical addiction if you just suddenly stopped that's a dangerous thing to do. But it's easy to do. Under medical supervision. Most people who don't have other medical problems could be -- can't decide which means they can also call. In a couple of days. So. It's completely safe and there's no problem with the so that would that would be the answer for that one and of course the longer you drink. The more help from you. And we all know what those are the yeah."
" So he's saying that basically he's got to build up of thirty years of drinking and that there for an hour his body is used to an adjusted to the alcohol and needs it to live kind of like a crack baby. But your stay in Contra."
" Note that there's no truth to that at all I mean whether it's thirty years -- one year one month doesn't matter because the physical addiction is a very short term thing. So you would just pick in the short time to get off that."
" Two."
" Yeah okay they don't aiming I can talent. Great thanks are the -- So lance tell us you know we had actually younger guy -- into the show -- He says that he was addicted to painkillers and got off the painkillers but he's having a difficult time. I'd imagine a lot of people are having a tough times and maybe you can give us some short term strategies for dealing with addiction."
" Sure well what I described in and in the book and breaking the addiction is that. Addiction can really be understood to have three pieces which I can describe very quickly -- The first thing is that. That's the purpose you might there -- a function production. And as I mentioned before when people feel overwhelmingly helpless. They have to do something that's not as an abnormal response that the normal response if you were trapped in the case -- for example. It wouldn't be normal or helpful to sit and -- get the press. You would get very upset you are pounding the rock you get very angry really about your situation you do anything you could to get out ranked so. The need to -- help with this is solved is the function of of doing an addictive the case and it doesn't matter what behaviors. We all know what doesn't work but in the short term as I said. Even the idea of doing it is helpful that the first -- the second part is what drives addiction what is addiction that -- intensity. And there again if you think about the person in the case. Think the intensity of that person who has figured out that the real rage inside if you'd have to do it which is it that is normal. It's that kind of rage at helplessness that drug -- and they could make it why addiction look for -- does and the port so difficult it is to deal with. So the third part is. What does that have to do with even gambling or drinking why did people do those but I mean if you indicate that -- you know calling up the rock that makes sense. But how does going to get a -- well the answer is that it's what we call in the field this replacement or substitute. So that instead of doing something direct all addictions are way do I deal with that helpless feeling by doing something else by doing something in the for example. The very first story in the book. It about a man who gets -- piled on is that at 1 o'clock in the afternoon after he Cody had a frustrating day and the -- and alcoholism so. He's got very upset and he said you know by god at the end of the day at 5 o'clock I'm gonna go I'd get a drink and what people have it. He calmed down he worked the rest today and insured up at 5 o'clock he did go out and got an industry. So. He did something instead of doing something the -- what could he have done that would have been direct well. You know in that situation there were a lot of things because of he -- and complain to his book that I can't do all this. It's too much he could've done the work partly he could've done a thousand things. That would have dealt more directly with the feeling but. Almost every time and when people have an addiction they find -- they they feel. That they can't do anything they're trapped some have been trapped by their own sense of what's right to do what they consider this threat. So if you start -- that then it. Is what what that -- Clinton is that when people feel the urge to do an addictive act. They are always solving. Some problem but it had nothing to do with the addiction it's something else right and the short term solution is always something that deals with that real problem. Like the man in this story who could've gone to the complaint was blossoming right art institute that. And it's different for every situation is different for every person."
" So you -- have to identify what it is that's driving you to be addicted to you know what's triggering the addiction."
" Right what is the what is making view in particular feel overwhelmed yeah and it's very individual. You have to get to know yourself and that's why have so many examples in the book the people's concede many varieties."
" Right. Yeah I think a lot of times like I'm sitting here thinking what you're talking you know okay well what causes me to -- eat sugar. Because I do feel like I have this intense addiction to sugar."
" Yeah at least its not about -- that boat -- right I'm trying to figure out what it's at what is it about because I don't know what triggers that I just seemed like all the time."
" Yes but I think that what you find out in this in a lot of the book is about this. Is that you have after awhile you start to notice not just when you're doing the behavior yeah when you think about doing behavior. You can push it back in time and that's the that's the key what I called -- moment that addiction is not doing this behavior it's when you the first crosses your mind right and that's the point where the addiction."
" that's what you have to kind of look out for is -- at what you -- have to log. When is -- crossed my mind."
" Yes he's -- and that's that's the best time to deal with the that you're not necessarily feeling that you have to do it."
" It's in the future eat at that point then you can figure out looking at what -- your mind at that moment right key moment that's the truth."
" All right what we're gonna take a little break here we have doctor -- is on the line with us he's an addiction specialist also the author of breaking addiction a seven step handbook for ending any addiction. That is website -- and noticed dot com this DO DES. Where to be right back and talk about intervention and a sporting rehab it's expensive. Doctor -- noticed on the -- it says he's an addiction specialist also the author breaking addiction a seven step candidate for ending any addiction. Candace what's your question cooking the red hot he's."
" You and he completed a rehab -- got me he hasn't been to work for the past ten days. He's been on attendees -- basically. We were wondering is there any age can take him that will keep him more than a few hours his wife. I called the ambulance on and they they let him go a few hours later he takes quarantine and you aren't quite a bit of vodka. And let the small business owners I -- not going to work for ten days. Is it pretty -- Right on the one of if there's any place that we could take him that will hold him like they community or or you were saying that how how long it takes you know I alcohol. And how much we're back BE."
" Okay well on don't know where you live and it may be different in different areas but in Denver. It's okay well and I'm not sure what it is there but most breath. The way it works is that the the law will not. Allow you to take away someone's right to make his own decision it's his civil rights but it's been vanity. So they eat they eat they cannot keep him against -- will unless he meets certain criteria that are defined by law in which case he can be literally committed. Two and in Canada that's rare. So. If he if he is willing to go in though you can he is. Now okay with a you can check and find out where detox facilities are sometimes they're presenting sometimes they're hospitals. And they will only keep him until he is detoxify which is only a couple of days but they won't send them home until -- because -- thought -- it. If they only people a few hours that may be because they've checked him and they discovered he doesn't need these applications. And if that's the case then you know the only other hospital patient option is -- is rehab which is. Quite expensive that the country usually covered by insurance we have rarely."
" And your doctor how can people afford rehab is very expensive."
" It sure is. Well. Visit that I think -- that the the the strange answer but. I think that there are many more people going into long term thirty day we have been really need to. And what why am saying that it's because the outcome from the -- had. It's not that great almost everybody -- Clean and sober for a short time after leaving right but it doesn't laugh and this. The story it is very typical person within rehab maybe -- At that -- for awhile. But then it and and that's always what happened so the solution is. Not so much to rehab. But just to get off the drugs have a brief respite and then get into good they're."
" Okay so basically get an get detox to get out go to therapy did and a program not a sillier rehab facility that's gonna cost you. 610 to a you know twenty grand a month depending on the facility. Veteran right okay -- or more. This is outrageous so people I want and may be I guess get their people into an intent rehab or something what would be the best thing quickly -- you tell us well."
" These rehab places are for profit places so if you have the money they'll be glad to take."
" I just think of what they are for profit -- gonna keep in mind well. You guys can always grab doctor lance doses books to get more information on how you can break addiction the book is breaking addiction a seven step handbook for ending any addiction. That is website lance -- dot com that links on my site at your time with -- dot com."
" The discussion continues on kids' FaceBook it's FaceBook dot com slash girlfriend --"
" Yet a dilemma and you need to advise him on I'd be -- to listen into the show because it is asking him anything. Really don't even he even need a dilemma I mean it is asked him -- and it's really just ask me anything."
" You want respect -- I won't -- I respect him so much that I completely -- to put out."
" She's a walking talking real -- chick flick it's funny here with a lot more drama. It's your time with --"
" You don't I'm sick of watching. Casey Anthony murder trial yeah it is on a nonstop now because it's finally in you know finally after. How good this whole thing that I think two years ago right two or three years she's been -- in jail waiting for trial. I thought that was illegal. There's something in the constitution about giving a speech trial or something house two years speedy. Now seem very speedy to me it really made me think boy I hope I'm never accused of murder -- out -- because you can get like crazy if innocent people can be accused of murder and then what if just rot in jail cell for two years the free -- get a trial. And I don't understand that right -- You know so anyway it's all over the news and it's like the only thing on I watch a lot HL land one because I'm often funny Thailand. Now. And plus -- kind. And -- you know because I like to watch the news and they have all these other kinda news stories it's not always a serious news. So I like watching a giant well lately it's just in this Casey Anthony trial and Alzheimer and watch in this you know I mean they're basically -- to be crazy. Which -- guesses you know probably true. And -- thing is so sad and then I see today that they have all these people running into the courtroom like -- you know how bad the day after Thanksgiving. Black Friday -- via NASA everyone's like runs in the stores trying to get their products in the stampeding in running over people. That's how they are getting into that trial because it's an open courtrooms. So they should be selling tickets but they can't so it's really first come first serve and people are stampeding. Into that coroner's privacy while. I mean it's like who just plans or day and says I got a great idea. Forget Disney World. Casey Anthony murder try now that I. -- site -- now artists it goes. In this country that -- ghosts and a court grand Andy's here murder trial jury duty nobody wants you and I in less it's a big high profile case like OJ Simpson or Sunday it was like that you are bad people were stampeding into the courtroom. And is this crazy crazy let's go to. There's going to be more weeks of this murder trial that was just got sick of watching on TV and -- per cent of why I could accept this let's go. A rabbit out of the phone lines you guys have a dilemma and dead demand it's gotta be really hot and steamy in order for -- and really like it. I hadn't seen me okay. He's just a problem that you need help solving it doesn't have to be -- it why can't it be hot and steamy what are you asking for I don't try to infuse every event I just. No sex story it's -- right -- as we -- problem yeah problems real true problems that you can't seem to solving your life and number eight at 8925554."
" It's not yield."
" It's me that I. I'm sure your girlfriend Kim can explain caller 8881925554."
" It's your time Jim -- look very good dilemma we have Fernando on the line hi Fernando. -- OK tell us what's going on."
" I -- I want each. Who want to keep in --"
" And -- trouble Lumpur golf and no other aunt -- uncle grandma on the interest and help Arnold."
" like -- to reward each in turn -- you shouldn't get involved and not you know -- should stay out of it you know you. In nineteen -- editor about should not your typical eastern I don't know where -- article at."
" Our right to let me ask if you questions here then niece -- Certain seventy -- human error as she just turned seventeen says she's a senior in high school track becoming a senior. You shouldn't be sooner or score or to drop our school here. OK so she's dropped out she's seventeen she's living with -- she was kicked out by her mom why was she kicked out."
" I'm not -- teacher who didn't want to go to school and go all the time he will be drawn once or twice extra. Get involved around crown and her mom put her out on the street and who we are on topic Seton hall and admire -- out here and there are you know. I I just I can't eat. Are so let her do that."
" Right okay and then you say that now this is your wife's niece. So is this your wife's brother's child or your wife's sister's child."
" Weren't content are so I'm okay I'm not -- really need it. Yeah I heard are not really in the east but kind of basically -- close fan myself. Sure we were all right EMI cousins are like my siblings too so I understand so. In you say that the grandmother won't taker and and no other aunts uncles and -- and and they want -- and why."
" Well because he or she stayed with them and you know they they put up with her for a week or two and so we don't wanna deal Serbs. You are given a little while still."
" Wow OK so she's our economy the rounds with the family."
" Fernando. Okay so when my blossom but let let's ask you a couple more questions -- so she's now living with you how long she lived with yeah."
" You're gonna hurt and not really not end she caused problems. And yeah."
" I'm pretty big -- I would say no we caught the problem she -- and you all. We ever occur to you for carry -- we sure don't -- you know you had to do every want to you don't get into trouble go -- on. And you don't just don't copy more troubled and pictures -- and any more trouble. And."
" You know in every can find out are on call them and help her out she -- cause any -- should go stale and tired but I'm but."
" You know not couldn't really extra."
" But you feel like you need to -- why if she's not a problem for you then why do you feel like you need to adapt to her look."
" Well you."
" I want -- extra out and she -- their progress throughout the -- at three small children together. And on and on our economy suffering from your family every that the site he wanted to do well -- back -- on that but."
" Nor is -- into the we want and can maybe should shut -- and say okay let's shouldn't normally you're gonna have to national media are. Here are actually. Try to get so yeah Robert which itself practical. Aspect it's cool because the school year over for now my."
" Right yet so you guys haven't made really any rules for you -- just and laid back."
" Right -- the basics stop but we want her feel comfortable you are choosing to at least read it like she's been rejected by everybody you know he certainly. Not take my time to say we can't answer appear here adult."
" Right but you gotta kind of look at it like this girl has decided to drop out of school she decided to hang with the wrong crowds. I mean she's deciding to do all of these things that are bad for her. And everyone else in her life has said we're not gonna support you if you're gonna continue do all these things are bad for you -- And I almost wonder if you're doing a disservice to her by being accommodating to the fact that she doesn't wanna be a good can't I mean not that she's -- bad -- The you're saying oh she's a typical teenager Fernando typical teenagers don't drop out of high school. Orbit but yet they don't so you know issue being a typical teenager or she setting herself up for disaster she setting herself up for a life. You know misery and poverty. And you know getting pregnant early on and all the image she setting herself up. -- that isn't going anywhere and are you guys enabling it are you becoming an enabler are you any different than someone who's taking candidate you know someone who's addicted to something. An enabling addiction."
" Sure and you know it and my wife and I we were armed teenaged parents and -- you know we can we spoke we wouldn't really -- it was very hard trucks and and I guess that's why we're we're saying okay you don't want to go out and south from up front but please don't keep yourself even more trouble you know it's not so much it's."
" go hang out with these with these bad people in the cardinal pulled out these people go out on different but. It will actually want they're caught in trouble."
" Right to -- try ticket approach -- and try to take the approach of maybe you're more understanding. And maybe she wouldn't feel the need to -- now and then maybe should -- back on the right path -- kind of hoping. -- But you're worried you know because she's causing your wife a lot of stress -- not your -- taken avenue in the other kids. It Obama. Okay we're gonna open up the phone lines for -- is a big dilemma -- open it up and see what others have to say. The upper hand on a line you just heard the calamity had any advice for the number 888925554. She licks -- she has a lot of friends. Veterans FaceBook. FaceBook dot com slash your -- French. -- effort and on the line his issue is that his wife's niece has just -- and -- seventeens dropped out of high school problem child. Basically been passed around a family she'd stay with everyone for a week or two and and they get fed up with her antics and they would kicker out. Now she's -- Fernandez for Canada's announced he should also stick around because it is causing some contention. Between him and his wife and kids and you know Jesus still seventeen out party and not be into terrible but not exactly doing what other seventeen year old stairs three needs some advice 8889 call -- hi Donna and what's your advice for Fernando."
" Basically. Same thing Mike -- told me it is you know my eighteenth birthday I was either in school or working outside. Wasn't doing that I wasn't being productive to society then. Loose -- to get to get out."
" Yes you have to get out if you'd have to be in scholar working I agree if she's seventeen and she decides to drop out of school -- need to get a job period. She can't free load because it's just gonna learn a free load."
" What the opinion of me my -- in me and so my eighteenth birthday. Well I don't know about but when I was looking and you know."
" But did you drop out of school. Did you drop out of high school that aren't aren't finished right okay so yeah okay."
" But basically I I you know I wasn't sure what I wanted to do it because I'd -- graduate high school. I would -- wanted to continue scores."
" Go to where yeah and then they were saying like you better sit there with the federal agent on this but we support you but you gotta make up your mind yes he had nothing to want society here get out yeah thank you Diana I like that -- kind of call. Which advice for Fernando."
" I -- what Eric gimmick I think Britney and now Aaron I'll hand actually look at that other person back then. He can't you have been teenage girl that you're trying to get all of bit leeway you know and it hurt my. The teenage girl I want my my thought I know that -- look at it any that we way I -- hit by a sample of whatever on the guys I'm gonna see how much. I can say is he -- someone and they take a mile yeah saying -- I think that right is being hurt so much freedom. It's not enabling her I don't her brand because they're gonna make -- saint. I want people are getting an -- I'm gonna go and you. Ticket and I get away with anything. Now maybe and -- what you eat it because its parent support and how that Kate and Leo it. The things that she was yeah I let -- let -- currently has prepared. He forget it you're not every -- is acting out some."
" Mariah its its like got to get to the bottom of that but still set the boundaries of the same time I agree -- thank you hi Sarah. Which advice for Fernando."
" I could you point out that. You know really dropping out of all is not that I -- he carried it can be a lot of them. Mike underlying problem budget it fresh. Blood on the board that. You know she really -- kinda. Il and -- he's doing really good thing I'd eaten after her. And Adam. And and allowing her plea at the end."
" But just realize that it could be something else yeah I mean that's a good point sir thank you -- in the same situation as Fernando."
" I went a couple of years ago I think and my best friend me. And she was kind of like having that apparently count them Graham I guess it -- Nobody wanted to yell at their pure -- checks before that. She her mom made her quit school. So when I brought her and I basically set boundaries there with the curfew even issued eighteen. I'm in Africa back to school and now she's in college commenting to us."
" So basically she needed boundaries and she needs to get back into school and she's somebody you know that there are gonna be there for her. Regardless of how much she acted out."
" Right we just have to take his audience to ask you know you have to be hard. Right but if they -- that's have a lot of yap told so and it just you know don't be afraid -- that -- and that's correct because I know it's hard."
" thank their effort and -- we think that I mean just be strict get a -- school and no matter what she pulls up. -- stellar you're not gonna banner."
" Yeah our -- I love that idea I am."
" I like I did want young."
" Yes I I'd say go that route for sure and he I like with the first caller said which was either got to be in school or you gotta have a job and that's the deal if she walks away Fernando I would say teller. Look if you're leading that's you know we don't want you to leave we want to stay. That just know that when you when life has -- on the streets you can always come back as long as you're willing to do these things. You know that gosh. Tough -- thank you so much best a lack. Have a good night. The group right. Inches and passed around a lot they test the boundaries and push the limits just to see if that person that's with them now. Will actually you know pass them off again. Or stick through it date -- a lot of boundaries but in the end you know they're always really great kids -- stay nice and safe pushed through the thanks so much for your call. Email me anything you've got Jimmy you're trying to Tim dot com."
" How can you spice up your sex life -- one guess as you can use erotic I'm not sure what the difference -- between erotic and porn you'll find out with us tonight. It's Amanda's age she's the co owner of oysters and chocolate dot com Samantha welcome to the show."
" How important thank you so much for having me."
" So you're Nicole and her voice isn't just a dot com also a co editor of the new erotic anthology nice girls not a sexy."
" That's many times you cannot make piano."
" Wow OK so can you say that couples can use erotica and this will enhance their relationship so my first question for you -- what's the difference between Iraq and porn."
" People. -- won't get 100 -- you know -- now emphatic -- is that it short story. What we talk about putting it actually talking about big media print on their."
" OK so but isn't some erotica also film."
" Yes he is expected for our purposes we usually -- about -- not playing the -- definitely -- found out there."
" Okay so that was the difference be you know with -- erotica literature I mean is it very corner -- fact is that really descriptive."
" Yeah what is the candidates."
" So it is a very pornographic. Type of literature OK so. And T use that you know -- and I think a lot of couples -- Maybe want to use some pornography in their relationship they think -- spiced up but they're not really comfortable at that they don't wanna watch other people actually doing it. This could be a good outlet to bring in -- without bringing in the other people."
" Totally agree it's a really dead that they don't know way to think that's getting very intense."
" volcanic couples use this in there relationship in the bedroom."
" Well look there's thank her radiant -- actually eat and it's completely -- me right here think that I can tell if I -- more weigh heavily on her husband got sucked as a hire me. She can take a story that's it is that kind of being in had hit me -- cannot -- to get them I think -- current."
" Okay I I wouldn't think that what would happen for me personally I'd pick up the -- I'd read the book I wrote that my partner day why can't you do this for me. Probably yeah I expect it yeah."
" That's only another way to go about."
" I think it would make a lot of people angry you know we're like reading these stories this is why don't read stories like Danielle Steele for instance as a like no man has ever done that for me. -- read it -- it's like not a real but I guess. Yeah you can use it and get angry or you can use it as a training tool like for -- saying. He had -- humanity do this for me."
" Yeah dressed up like a firemen. Exactly exactly it's. I'm -- I'm thinking directed it had taken story and read it out loud cheer practice. And constant beat her ticket and yet they can be and I think at think he might on a tight pennant and the and it affects. -- It isn't and they -- and thinking this flattering you know you can I elaborate election may not easily of their last."
" You know what I I like erotica for I will admit that sometimes -- do you browse some erotica literate system novels you know hot stuff. I like it for the dirty -- because I learned. I learned different words that maybe I wouldn't normally used for the thirty to Iraq. And I yeah yeah and the -- even as sexting you can like tennis sex to new things that you just pick a phrase out of the but. You guarantee to know that this man -- never read the book you know that house to do with all of this erotic stuff so you could pretty much pick a phrase around the -- use it on and he thinks of the hottest thing ever. -- Can't yeah. I think that a lot of couples also with this kind of staff would be able to like like you're saying you know which you're anthology nice girls -- sex. Maybe even pick I'm kind of a fun game may be would be like couples. Picking a story in and saying you know I want you to do is for me at some point and then. He picks -- into the I want you to do this for me at some point kind of pass the -- back and forth to pick a bookmark."
" It has happened and -- yes. We saw the lab assured studies here because they don't take care a lot of that he can get a lot of ideas."
" Yeah. Yeah yeah I -- Amanda -- entire product not might be a challenge and I'm sure there are -- readers out there but their closet readers you know like now they're saying Iowa. And Daniel scale. Back I'm saying Daniel still but -- or the -- authors these days."
" I'm I'm clean and I won't have any opinions -- out every now and create Tammy AdAware is Amy Tran is compromised then. I don't know if you've -- it -- the regional -- but held curator and editor."
" Okay that I had I not Ferrari is exploding right now what people really love to read you know this it because it is it's different from actually watching porn you wanna be stimulated. You want the idea is you want you know you want all of that that you don't necessarily want invite other people in to the picture right."
" Lee exactly and women and and you know what he's an actor in a movie that just feels like to -- like they found -- immediately turned up. Yeah -- did you -- my imagination that can fill in the script it's going."
" Yeah you could actually it disk you can figure out how you want the person to look and -- you want them to sound and all of them are very -- Samantha thanks so much tell us about your website really quickly oysters in chocolate dot com."
" We can't think habitat -- then on my own safety problems I eat and we have over a thousand short story. Erratic -- TID code as wetlands. I can -- calories and it's a pretty fill itself smells virtual playground Fannie and I want to thank the and I again."
" Ads -- okay oysters and chocolate dot com Samantha say thank you so much for joining us tonight. I think you know."
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